“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

The headlines in the newspapers these days are scarier than the first edition of Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis. With the kooks around the country coming out in droves to air their crazy anti-Obama madness, I’m almost afraid to leave my house for fear of some right-wing zealot on the attack with a loaded gun. And New Yorkers, listen up. Don’t think just because you are in New York City that you are any safer from that crowd. Once Rudy Giuliani turned this city into Disneyland and all the horrendous corporate types came swarming in, plenty of conservative kooks must… Read More »

Of all the people on Earth, The New York Times Style section felt the need to ask an uninteresting person to share their Woodstock (or lack thereof) experience on this, the 40th anniversary of the pivotal, generation-changing event. Elsewhere in The Times, Gail Collins did a fantastic Op-Ed piece on Woodstock. Then again, I’d read her grocery to-do list. But, The Sunday Style section would not live up to the oxymoron title I have bestowed upon it without at least one article worthy of a mention in I Mean…What?!? Today we have a writer, a proud Baby Boomer (zzz), who… Read More »

Is anyone else besides me sick and tired of listening to doom and gloom media reports about the economy? I sure as hell am. Not a day goes by without negative headlines, where media induced fear mongering is the plat du jour. Yes, the economy is not what is was last year…duh. The turning point was mid to late September, when the first shoe dropped and early October when the other one fell…with a large boom. Everyone experienced a shift in the economic free fall. OK….it happened. We must all learn to shift our perspective and spending accordingly. Today, I… Read More »

Guy Trebay wrote an interesting article in The New York Times Style (?) section yesterday. The essence of the story is that men with bellies are on trend, sporting “the Ralph Kramden”. Though it’s called It’s Hip To Be Round, I think the better title is Belly Up. He explores several reasons why this might be the case, and as much as I enjoyed the article because the topic is top of mind (I have been belly conscious my entire life), what he doesn’t address are the critical health issues related to having a belly. As a fat kid, I… Read More »

There aren’t many films that get me all goosebumps and giggly like the upcoming The September Issue has. You won’t see me camped out at the Ziegfled waiting to buy Harry Potter nonsense. Truth be told, I have not seen any of those films. Can’t figure out why, just ‘cuz. Nor was I highly anticipating Twilight or Transformers: Revenge of the Whatever, and you can relax about Ironman. Yeah, I’ll see it, but can we discuss the Anna Wintour movie for a second? Obsessed. I’ve seen the trailer umpteen times. Haven’t you? Actually, a friend of mine who has been… Read More »

Anyone who knows me from childhood will tell you that I developed my own language, mostly words and expressions to describe things, people or activities that I found somewhat nonsensical. Now, I just say I Mean…Whaaaaat?!?! a lot, which captures the essence. One word is “okeedeer”. This is really just “OK, there”, but with a sardonic twist. Here’s a for instance. Say, The New York Times Style features a fashion spread of men’s clothing, shown on a heavily tattooed model, who looks like a wanna-be beatnik. We know he is a wanna-be, because he is in fact a model, rather… Read More »

Nothing brings me more joy that the lovely notes and requests for answers that I receive directly into my mailbox. I’ve been the go-to person for “matters of the heart” and “what to” or “what not to wear” my whole life and fielding your requests is in line with what I do best. Please keep those cards and letters coming. Hi Abe, How come you didn’t do an I Mean…What?!? on Barack Obama’s “mom jeans”? Surely I though you would have jumped all over that. Maureen Dear Maureen, I thought about that plenty. But the reason I passed on it… Read More »

I’m an avid New York Times reader. The Grey Lady has been etched in my mind as the “go to” publication (now website) for vital information, news of the day, critical opinions, the barometer of the zeitgeist. However, the Style section is so out of touch and not interesting, that it boggles the mind. Today’s lead story declares this is the “Age of Nice”. First of all, how is that style? The article points out the lamest reasons too:… Read More »

Recently I pointedly pointed out how silly looking The Quirky Man-Hat was and that guys who wore these too-small-for-their-head hats, looked like Man-zies. The newest addition to the “Must Not Do” list for men is wearing designer shorts. Unless of course, you don’t mind looking like a big ol’ Man-zie. The New York Times’ recent, lame-ass editorial spread on men’s looks for spring…a.k.a. MAN-SIES GALORE was all sorts of wrong. The Style section is an abomination: so after the fashion fact and past the curve of relevant. Oh and by the way, Cathy Horn needs to leave The New York… Read More »

This is the Holy Trinity of holiday times with Passover and Easter melding together like one long reason not to work too hard. I have been wondering when the Easter equivalent of Kwanzaa was going to appear, seeing that “holiday” popped up out of nowhere several years ago. And now with Barak Obama as president, well this new (old) holiday is bound to appear. Maybe then we can declare some kind of official bank holiday in honor of the three ancient religions. And if ever there was a time to give bankers a break…this would be it.… Read More »