Pack your bags kids. It is time to move off this continent and go to a place, any place in this world, where you will be safe from the prying, vomitous eyes of the media that gives us the endless stories about wanna-bes, never was-es, and nobodies galore. Today I have read a story that has made me so nauseous, that I am beside myself. Let me just list the cast of characters in this item and surely you will agree and run to start packing. Jon Gosselin, Michael Lohan, Jill Zarin. Should I stop now? And wait, this trifecta of ridiculousness and uber-nobodyness all takes place in…you guessed it…THE HAMPTONS! I don’t know about you…but I have come to the end of my rope. That Arianna Huffington has expanded the Huffington Post to include this crap is like making the statement that real news is never ever going to be safe again. It will be pre-packaged with crap, because the mindless general public eats this shit up. I am sad today. I love America. I was not planning to move out of this country. And now I know why Michael Jackson moved to Bahrain. You know what, screw the packing. I will just go there with the shirt on my back and purchase a couple of Burkas when I get there and never wear underwear again. That is the style I will get accustomed to. See y’all.