Gross Baboons

"And may the best woman win!" - Ru Pal

Tyra Banks, move over. We are now watching the ultimate beauty contest between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann as they go toe to toe in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model… Citizen? Now all we need is a segment with Miss J Alexander as he shows the hopefuls how to walk up to the podium with grace, turn, nod to constituents, wave ever so slightly, then walk off stage without answering any questions. There is little difference between these two ladies when you stop, look and listen to them. Welcome to our newest reality show, model camp meets… Read More »

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What on Earth are you doing? You, meaning the media for giving unending amounts of real estate to Sarah Palin. Whether the media is covering her “I’m Not Going Anywhere Tour” (a.k.a. The Catch Me, Catch Me Tour) or giving her rebuttal time to maintain her cluelessness about Paul Revere for “ringing those bells”, we now have to suffer through 24,000 old emails from when she was Governor of Alaska, gazing at Russia from her back porch. The media are drunk on Sarah Palin’s Kool-Aid and now we are accosted with irrelevant plot points, junk mail and “You betchas” from… Read More »

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Leave it up to Sarah Palin, with her grossly misguided sense of self, to launch her comeback from stupidity on Memorial Day Weekend. Kicking off in Washington DC, while grossly using the Vietnam War veterans to pull at heart strings, get ready for a calculated, lame attempt to prove to America, that her One Nation Tour is all about them and not about her. And if you believe that for one second you Tea Party zealot, well, by all means sign up here to buy a piece of what’s left of the Poconos. Sarah Palin and her yahoo family are… Read More »

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The gloves are off and the cat fight begins between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, the Doublemint Twins of the Tea Party. Neither zealot has officially entered the race yet, but they are already taking jabs at each other through their hired mouth pieces. What is more brilliant than that? Brilliant because as I predicted months ago, there will be no harmony with this duet. It is similar to the similarities of Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. It is hard to tell them apart, too. In March, when the Charlie Sheen meltdown was monopolizing the airwaves, I wrote: The… Read More »

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Gotta hand in to the Democrats. When none of the Republican presidential hopefuls like Mitt Romney or John Whats-his-name could grab one headline from the Sarah Palin and her Catch Me Catch Me Tour, Anthony Weiner came up with a brilliant plan with the Democratic National Committee in an effort to diminish Palin’s rising star. Weiner-Gate is a complete fabrication—from the crotch shot to the titty shot. Weiner’s plan was to create this scandal and pull the trigger when it was looking like Sarah’s cutesy clueless act was winning over the hearts and minds of the people and more importantly,… Read More »

Sarah Palin, Serene Branson And Miss Teen South Carolina

Oh, come on. You tell me what the difference is between these three sound bites, one from Sarah Palin when asked about the midnight ride of Paul Revere or Serene Branson after the Grammy Awards when reporting on *Lady Antebellum‘s unusual Grammy sweep. And how can we not included the lovely Miss South Carolina from Miss Teen USA Pageant, when she spewed these pearls when asked about the lack of education in our youth. Watch, listen and learn. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwHpBwAxDIs httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS4C7bvHv2w httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww Ever wonder what Lady Antebellum means? Well, Lady is obvious, but Antebellum refers to an architectural style of home… Read More »

Sarah Palin Feels Liberated. Is That Like Not Wearing A Bra?!?

Yesterday, Madam Palin suffered from hoof in mouth disease. Today she feels liberated. “You don’t need to be in office to effect positive change,” Sarah Palin said. We know girl, that is why you quit being the Governor of Alaska. So you can positively effect your pocketbook. She went on to say, “Hopefully, I can inspire others to know that you don’t need a title.” Who is she kidding? She is a title-aholic. From Miss Wassila to Mayor of Podunk to Governor of the Tundra, to Wanna-Be Vice-President and to in any minute now, Presidential hopeful. Sure she wants her… Read More »

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The good thing about this expression is that it applies to many things. Hmmmm, good. Hmmmm, bad. Hmmmm, huh? Hmmmm, how’d he do that? Hmmmm, is she kidding? This is one of those days where hmmmm is all I can say about a plethora of things. So whether I think Sarah Palin is lying through her pageant smile teeth or the kid in this first video did this stunt in one take, it all just makes me go hmmmm. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olcJPDQNff0 Starting with this video shot by my friend Tony Kelly for American Apparel. How amazing is that kid?   httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF2ayWcJfxo… Read More »

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The tide has turned for Sarah Palin. I recently said, “I don’t care how often Sarah Palin appears on Fox News, nor how disdainfully she speaks of our President while giving kudos to Donald “Orange” Trump for being the Birther-in-Chief, the fact remains that the wind is out of her sail and I couldn’t be happier. Michele Bachmann has stolen her thunder and she must be freaking out.” Boy, what a difference a weekend makes. That One Nation Tour Bus is kicking Michele and every Republican hopeful in the pants. Imagine the ego bloat that those two reality stars, Sarah… Read More »