“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Look out Iowa, here she comes, barreling down the pike for more heart felt aggrandizing. Yup, Sarah Palin is loading up that I’m Not Going Anywhere Tour Bus and hightailing across the plains to head Michele Bachmann off at the pass. (And her little dog, Marcus, too.) Sarah has tasted the fruits of our national landscape—no, not the edible ones from the Great Plains—rather, from the bully pulpit and media glare of the national stage… and she is hungry for more. Sarah Palin is a garden variety addict, maybe not with drugs, but she is clearly addicted to the spotlight.… Read More »

Now that the S & P has downgraded our credit rating, I would like to mention that this is the same organization that approved all the credit swaps and hanky panky that lead to the demise of the Free World as we know it. The Standard & Poor (whose name is apropos) took this position based on our contentious political theater during the debt ceiling debate. This is unprecedented and shocking because those who sit in judgment shall not judge. And if the Lord didn’t actually say that, well, he did now. With the downgrade in place, the Democrats, yes,… Read More »

Really? Everyone is in an uproar about the photo spread in French Vogue featuring a ten year old girl wearing high fashion? Really? The mommy blogs are in a Twitter? Big deal. Everyone go to a mirror and look deep in your soul as to where you participated and why this is even the case. We glamorize Toddlers & Tiaras, we make fashion for tweens the most relevant statement, so naturally we have to tap ten year olds to grace the covers of magazines. This, my dear Watson, is because we have let that 1970’s expression “Sex Sells” become the… Read More »

Poor Sarah Palin. Now that she has been marginalized and stuffed back in her Wasilla box, she is desperately trying to claw her way back into some sort of rhetorical relevance by spewing hatred on, what else, Fox News. Any money bet that she had her finger in the reality show deal for Beehive, the hair salon that is credited for her up-dos. The new show, Big Hair Alaska will air on TLC, the network that brought you Sarah Palin killing animals and winking. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The other thing is that she is on contract with Fox… Read More »

Never one to bandy about certain terms loosely, I have been careful to minimize my use of one particular term… The A-List. One must go through hoops to become a member of the fabulii. It is not for the faint of heart. Clawing ones way up the ladder, be it in Hollywood or marrying into Royalty, the fact remains, there are very few ways to achieve such status. There are those certain editrixes such as Anna Wintour, Grace Coddington and Arianna Huffington that are there for life. And boy did Arianna fight her way up that ladder. You gotta hand… Read More »

Throughout all this talk of the debt ceiling, the Republicans are now officially beginning to look like cartoon characters. The release of The Smurfs movie frames this debate in a very insightful way. Will these weirdly colored creatures survive their situations? Oh, I am talking about the orange folks in the Republican party, lead by John Boehner. He and Donald Trump are like the Tom & Jerry of orange blabbermouths. Nothing would be more genius than if John Boehner started crying over this process, caught on tape. The tension must be so thick in his chamber, that you can cut… Read More »

Sometimes reading the morning news reminds me of the Enchanted Forest when Dorothy and the three caballeros are in search of the Land of Oz, only to be threatened by the pending doom of lions and tigers and bears. In that same vain, reading through today’s headlines, the three ladies who otherwise just lunch, Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are doing to me what those animals did to our heroes from The Wizard of Oz. Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for their use of a singer/model, Melissa Molinaro, who kinda looks like her.… Read More »

Now that Donald Trump has been rendered useless post the anti-climactic finale of The Celebrity Apprentice, coupled with being booed of the political stage for sounding like a blowhard, comes his latest effort to shine the spotlight back on him. Since Ivanka just had a baby, all eyes are on her for sure so The Donald must feel like an old shoe moping around the manse. Today he bloviated over to Fox News to blather on about how Republicans should take on the big gamble and let the country risk defaulting on their loans. Well, he is a betting man,… Read More »

The battle rages on between Tim (Zzzz) Pawlenty and Michele (Not tonight, I have a headache) Bachmann. He says this, she says that and the mudslinging has started before these horses asses are out of the gate.… Read More »

It’s all about having super powers these days. Whether you are a Marvel Comic or Katy Perry, whose super powers have catapulted her into the stratosphere, even with that noose (husband) around her neck, or a graduate of Hogwarts. The fact remains, no super powers, no fame. And in the case of HBO’s True Blood, you have to be a witch or a warlock, a shape shifter or a vampire, because being a regular human means nothing these days. Even in politics there are super things. Take this newly suggested Super Congress, set to determine all of our fates by… Read More »