“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Michelle Bombshell McGee sobbed an apology to Sandra Bullock on Australia TV. – US MAGAZINE Amy Winehouse’s breasts checked into rehab. – PEOPLE Come on…did you think this would last? Paris Hilton and Duug Reinhardt forever? Fotz. – PAGE SIX Skank of the Year, Ashley Dupre proves my point that illicit sex garners you a media career. – NY DAILY NEWS Now here’s a contest that no one wins…dumbest Twitter followers on Earth. – HUFFINGTON POST… Read More »

What could be more devastating to the American public than finding out that our reigning queen of all media…not you Perez Hilton, sorry girl…but Oprah Winfrey, has been exaggerating on all points of light about her upbringing in an effort to gain sympathy and trust, hence viewers galore? Nothing. According to Kitty Kelley, another queen, but her sovereignty is Unauthorized Biography-land, Ms. Winfrey has created a world of tragedy and drama, so much so, that violins will be playing. Kelley has dug into the lives of Jackie O, Frank Sinatra, the Bush family, Elizabeth Taylor, well, see the through line… Read More »

The reveal. Heidi Montag shows off her new body like they do at an Auto Show. – NY DAILY NEWS Engaged, enschmaged. La Liz ain’t walking down the aisle any way you slice it. – US The late night war just got more intense…Conan O’Brien will go up against Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. Think Afghanistan with giggles. – NY TIMES Demi Moore says laughter is the best way to keep from aging. That is the funniest thing I have ever heard.    – HUFFINGTON POST Elin Nordegren Woods was seen flying solo in a private plane…sans kids…crying. Yeah, crying all… Read More »

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

Do you care what this man says? Jim Carrey Tweeted his support of Tiger Woods yesterday. That’s more than interesting. – NY POST Are Lorenzo Martone and Marc Jacobs still “the happy couple”? I’ve been to as many gay divorces as I have gay marriages. -NY DAILY NEWS In case you missed it, Tina Fey killed it doing Sarah Palin Network on Saturday Night Live. -HUFFINGTON POST I love Maureen Dowd. Her stance on the Church and Pop drama is beyond noble. you go, girl. -NY TIMES This is how Tiger felt after every conquest. He is and will always… Read More »

Jersey Shore Season 2 is filming at the Jersey Shore after all. Yeah, they started in Miami. But any money bet this thing is scripted now, and Snooki says, while fist bumping, “Fuck Miami, let’s go back to the Jersey shore where they get us.” – MTV Stop what you are doing and watch this…period. -YOU TUBE Frankly, I like these two. Seems like I am alone. Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton were partying hearty at the Nylon magazine’s 11 anniversary party other night. – NY DAILY NEWS Do you recognize this Gross Baboon, or skank…which ever you prefer? She… Read More »

The only thing sadder than Shania Twain’s new reality show is the fact that my assistant Ryan is going to spend the summer watching it. -PEOPLE Lindsay Lohan’s fall collection for 6126 is here…fotz. Major, major fotz. -INSTYLE Terry Richardson wants to shoot your penii. -THE CUT You ain’t seen nothing yet, in terms of Kate Gosselin and reality television. She’ll be dancing into your living room on yet, another show about her and her shoes…or something.  -USA TODAY Cissy Houston says her daughter Whitney Houston is fine, now buzz off. -DIGITAL SPY Are you on Twitter? Click here to… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »

That this skank Joslyn James was boo-hooing on Madam Gloria Allred’s shoulder one day before Tiger Woods returned to the green and then today is resuming her hooker/porn actress career is beyond. -NY POST The judges on Dancing with the Stars wanna boot Kate Gosselin off because they saw this photo. -LIFELINE LIVE I can’t believe that Oprah is giving Rielle Hunter the stage. UGH! -Huffington Post Whitney Houston has to cancel the first date of her European tour. Oy?!? -BBC NEWS Pharoh showed his collection at Pakistan Fashion Week. -Huffington Post Are you on Twitter? Click here to follow… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan may have been paid $1.5 million for that Ungaro mess…and trashed a room at The Bowery Hotel along the way. – THE CUT Madge is back in Malawi! -Yahoo! News How insane can you be? Ivanka Trump’s stalker thinks he still has a chance with her…yikes. -Popeater Jason Lee’s ex-wife reveals some dish about Scientology…and has an amazing story about crazy Jenna Elfman. -Radar Look out skanks…he’s back and loking for love. -PAGE SIX… Read More »