“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Let’s face it kids, when I ask: ABE: Who wears a matching red hat with red Prada shoes and elaborate dresses? YOU: Dame Edna? ABE: No. YOU: Any of the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race? ABE: No. Give up? Here’s a hint. He turns a blind eye to child molesters and is the top dog of the Catholic church. YOU: Justin Bieber? ABE: No, you maroon. It’s the Pope, the Holy Pontiff, His Grace in the Glass Menagerie. Nice reputation, Marlene Pope Benedict XVI. I mean…really…would you let this guy, if he was not the Pope, anywhere near your kids?… Read More »

Let it be said that I Mean…What?!? called the Sarah Palin reality television show on June 12, 2009. So it was written, and so it shall be done. Today the Huffington Post reports that Sarah Palin and Mark Burnett are in cahoots with each other to bring you more endless nonsense from Wasilla. Here’s my next prediction, Mark Burnett becomes the leading campaign adviser for Sarah. This reality show will be the vehicle to slam her into the White House in 2016. Well, surely not 2012. I don’t care how many Tea Parties she hosts. And if I am right…which… Read More »

I have not talked about politics for quite a while. And there have been moments of absolute horror while reading the Huffington Post about the goings on in Washington, DC. Much of what was happening within our democracy over the past year had me dumbfounded. I began to loose faith…I closed my eyes…I turned the other cheek. When I became horrified…correction, mortified at some of the libelous and slanderous things that the nay-sayers…correction, Tea Partyers were saying, did I voice my concern? No. I am guilty as charged for frolicking through the fabulostiy of fashion and calibrating the crunk of… Read More »

Here’s a situation that has me riveted…in a guilty pleasure kind of way…kind of like watching…The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Where you really can’t believe that you got whooped up into wasting two hours of your precious time on earth watching this stupid show, yet, totally hoping that anyone but Vienna wins…and horrified when she did. Hence, you lost all respect for Jake. In that same way, I am wondering what Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren will do about their cheating husbands? Will they or won’t they forgive them…or will they just leave? Who hasn’t made their minds… Read More »

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to… Read More »

Plans, schmans. I tend to not go out on New Year’s Eve after so many years of going out. Plenty of fun was had over the years, but as rigor-mortis sets in, I have embraced the solitude, perhaps a friend or two and a sister or two to share the tidings has been the deal as of late. This year, I was invited to a small gathering, which was actually a great option. Car service to and fro, being with my good friend in town from Los Angeles, we rarely are in the same timezone on New Year’s. All the… Read More »

It never ceases to amaze me how some people walk around, be it at events, or otherwise, in get ups that are just shockingly wrong. Doesn’t Own A Mirror could become a weekly column, seeing what weird taste people have. The focus is on those folks that should know better…like people that the media follows, who simply must know a stylist or a gay, to help them navigate the horrors of looking like…well…this…… Read More »

A few weeks ago I did a piece on the “End-of-Summer Stomach Ache” and now…sadly…summer is really over. Today’s headlines in Women’s Wear Daily speak to the stomach ache designers are feeling while they approach the worst economic market since the Great Depression. How is that for an Imodium Moment? While reading through the article, something stuck in my craw that I wanted to talk about. In addition to the many elements that made our economy crumble, I firmly believe that the fashion designers who made those Target, K-Mart and other down-market deals, did not do themselves or their peers… Read More »

What’s great about being in good company is that it supports the notion that you belong or that you have arrived. Not sure about what the hell I am talking about? Just go back to the title of this entry…The Man-Girdle. Last week I did a piece on Mancessories, included in which, was a mention of the man-girdle or as I lovingly called it, Spanx for men. Time Magazine did a whole story on Mancessories and today there is an item in The New York Times Style Section, making it all sorts of old news, if it’s there. “At Saks… Read More »

Last week I suggested a new reality show, Real Housewives of the Republican Party, which would surely have been a jagoonza hit. Come to find out, that my idea was already in the air, as they are currently casting for Real Housewives of Washington DC. But, knowing that lame Bravo format, they will just cast bunch of pretentious wanna-bees, like they do in every other city, and the train wreck that will ensue, will just be like watching every other episode, insert city here…truly not that riveting. My show, however, would have been far more interesting and current. Since I… Read More »