“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Well, just when I thought I could not stand the slew of Republican candidates running for President in 2012 comes a reason to despise them even more. Because this pack of wolves was having their stupid debate on September 7, the same time Barack Obama wanted to announce his huge new jobs plan for the U.S., John ‘Orange’ Boehner drew a line in the sand and said, “We called firstzies”. So like the gentlemen Barack is, he moved his big speech to September 8, on Fashion’s Night Out. Between the NFL Pre season game and Anna Wintour, he will lose… Read More »

Throughout all this talk of the debt ceiling, the Republicans are now officially beginning to look like cartoon characters. The release of The Smurfs movie frames this debate in a very insightful way. Will these weirdly colored creatures survive their situations? Oh, I am talking about the orange folks in the Republican party, lead by John Boehner. He and Donald Trump are like the Tom & Jerry of orange blabbermouths. Nothing would be more genius than if John Boehner started crying over this process, caught on tape. The tension must be so thick in his chamber, that you can cut… Read More »

It’s all about having super powers these days. Whether you are a Marvel Comic or Katy Perry, whose super powers have catapulted her into the stratosphere, even with that noose (husband) around her neck, or a graduate of Hogwarts. The fact remains, no super powers, no fame. And in the case of HBO’s True Blood, you have to be a witch or a warlock, a shape shifter or a vampire, because being a regular human means nothing these days. Even in politics there are super things. Take this newly suggested Super Congress, set to determine all of our fates by… Read More »

I did a piece on Bullying last year, around the time I was on the committee for Stomp Out Bullying. Seems like this conversation will never end so I am hereby reissuing it below. As someone who was bullied, it is my responsibility to continue to speak out against it. In regards to the Tracy Morgan flap, who surely spoke like a douche bag, he also happened to crack a hilarious joke. One of my saving graces during my bullying years was my ability to laugh in the face of danger. Humor is a great weapon against bullies. Bullies are… Read More »

For those of you who have been reading I Mean…What?!? for a while, you might recall in my many Manzie Reports from last year and my observation that Gina Lollobrigida Orange was the new black. Naturally, I was being facetious because the way they were showing orange on the men’s runways in Milan and Paris, you would have to be insane to be caught dead walking the streets in half of these get ups, rather, you would get the shit kicked out of you by a pack of homophobes. Fortunately, orange in regards to menswear, never really took off, but… Read More »

I went to a parochial school and remember one of my tougher teachers yelling at a little kid who was crying for some reason or another to, “Stop that blubbering”. No, it was not directed at me. Though I distinctly remember that the use of the word “blubbering” made me so uncomfortable because I was a chubby kid. Blubbering stings. I have not heard that term used since then, but it seems most appropriate to describe the new leaders of the Republican Party. Could you just imagine what these born again Tea Baggers, Mitch McConnell and John Boehner would say… Read More »

Taxes schmaxes. The silliest part of this whole tax drama is how obsessed the Republican and Tea Parties are with how much better off we will be if the very rich get a tax break. Well, naturally the Tea Baggers are all for tax cuts for the rich, because they are so clueless, they think somehow the money will be trickled back to them so then they can finally buy teeth. As as for the Republican’s, well we know that those guys will do anything to oil their fund-raising machine, especially now that the doubly annoying Michael Steele is in… Read More »

I am a Democrat. I am also furious. Not that we lost the House. We all should have known that was coming and been psychologically prepared for the landslide. Seeing Barack Obama dumbfounded the next day at the press conference proves that, as he even referred to, “the glass bubble” has kept him at arms length from the American people. After all, every bloviator accuses him of that or being an “aloof Harvard professor”. Say what you want about Obama, but first look at this website that documents all the great things he has done in the last two years.… Read More »

Remember when Alec Baldwin allegedly threatened to leave the United States if George Bush Jr. got elected in 2000? I believe Barbra Streisand said something similar. Clearly they never left but that’s not why I am bringing this up. Rather, I am dumb struck watching and listening to the horrendous crop of candidates running for Senate and Congress. The reality that our country might be taking the kind of turn to the right…and I mean far right….I mean so far right that I can not breathe…is making me rethink living here. I lived in Los Angeles during 9-11 and it… Read More »

I was at the gym this morning and noticed out of the corner of my eye this bright orange thing on the TV screen. Well, it was not a meteor, it was John Boehmer on Meet The Press. Would you take anything this guy says with a grain of salt? Paprika…maybe. All I know is that John and Snooki have a lot in common. And now, what I want to know is…exactly what color are John Boehner and Snooki?!?… Read More »