“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

So apparently there is a 77 minutes sex tape featuring The Real Housewife of New Jersey, Danielle Staub. Now, having met her, she is really very nice and funny-ish. Perhpas she takes herself a bit too seriously…but I digress. The thought of watching this long-in-the-tooth mommy have prunetang…well…brech central. – TMZ… Read More »

Last Laugh? or Last Straw? It has been reported that Elton John serenaded known Oxycontin addict Rush Limbaugh at the marriage to his fourth wife, Kathryn Rogers, at their home in Florida. Why, you may ask, would Elton John be caught dead or alive under the same roof with the anti-gay, anti-everything, Tea Bagger, shock jock? Once you know that Elton was paid $1,000,000 dollars for the gig, then it all seems feasible. I am, however, giving Elton the benefit of the doubt and saying that the million dollars fee is going straight into the Elton John AIDS Fund, making… Read More »

Look, I am by no means a prude, but have you seen the new campaign to promote the Miss USA pageant? Donlad Trump‘s properties have just had a major Victoria’s Secret overhaul. The marketing campaign just launched and all 51 contestants have traded in their pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite extraordinaire…get chastised for being a skank? Will this new pageant action shift the talent portion of the evening? Will we see Fellatio?… Read More »

Are you ready folks? The reality showdown begins. Move over Bravo and all your overly Botoxed, Nine West wearing Real Housewives of New York City, Atlanta, Orange County, Washington DC, Beverly Hills, New Jersey and where else…oh…right…No Where Special. The New York Times reports on the new show in town that is poised to take those bitches down. Geritol presents Sunset Daze, a reality show starring 900 year old women who call themselves The Hos’s. (Yikes.) Not sure what the men on this show refer to themselves as…except, maybe, just happy to be alive. Sunset Daze, set in a retirement… Read More »

Help…I am drowning in a pool schmattas designed by celebrities. Someone throw me a line…and not a line designed by a celebrity. Unless you have been living under a rock, you would have noticed that a slew of celebrities have taken to multitasking, branding, adding layers to their illustrious careers by cultivating their secret childhood fantasies of becoming fashion designers. Literally every week I report on another astonishing member of this new clan of celebrities, who we can lovingly call brand whores. Every entertainment management firm is out there selling their talent to anyone that will pay anything, in an… Read More »

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in The Gay Divrocee. I reported on this weeks ago. – PAGE SIX Can everybody just leave this girl alone to live her life. So, she threw a glass at Sam Ronson’s head. Is it any of your business? – OK MAGAZINE Justin Bieber = breching – THE GRAPE JUICE This hot dress that Juliette Lewis is wearing is Dolce & Gabbana.  – JUST JARED Glee is threatening to do a Britney Spears episode. It would only work if Britney…looking like this…is on the show. Otherwise…fotz. – ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »

Am I that old where I can no longer appreciate teenyboppers? Am I that cranky and jaded that there’s no summoning up the adulation for a Twinkie that sings? Am I alone here? When I was young, yes, 4,000 years ago, we also had heartthrobs that swept the nation. We might have started that phenomenon actually. Well, Elvis did and that was before my time. But Elvis changed music as did The Beatles. They changed everything beyond music, too, like personal style and while they were at it, the entire culture. One can surely understand screaming for them. But I… Read More »

Wait…did I read that correctly? Tom Ford is what? Do you mean to tell me that an actual fashion designer is developing a collection for women? How is that possible? These days all we hear about are celebrities slithering their way into the fashion industry. Sarah Jessica Parker, Madonna, the Olsen Twins, Kim Kardashian, to name a few but the list is endless. Women’s Wear Daily reports this morning that Tom Ford, is in fact in talks with Givenchy designer, Pablo Coppola and a few other notables such as an accessory designer from Alexander McQueen to assemble a ferocious design… Read More »

Oy, poor Lindsay Lohan. I was pleased that they were giving her a second chance at Emanuel Ungaro. That was reported a while back anyway. I just read in Women’s Wear Daily that Lindsay was nowhere to be found this morning at the fashion show. The dish I got from my sources was that Mounir Moufarrige, a known sycophant, wanted to be near Lindsay, and soak up some of that paparazzi glow, so he signed her as the Creative Director at Ungaro last year. Apparently, people who were intimately involved in some of those meetings and dinners were breching (vomiting… Read More »