“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

In the Golden Days of Hollywood, no one cared about much besides the stars of stage and screen. Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Clark Cable, the list goes on. Seems like we have graduated (or what’s the opposite of that?) to be far more concerned with the whereabouts and goings on of the lowest of lowbrows of our society. The Nobody Newzzz is back and we have plenty to crow about. Crow as in old crow because the top story this week is about the Salahis. You will remember Michaele and Tartiq Salahi, that couple of Gross Baboons who… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan has been stirring up the pot this week in New York and the thing is, after hearing about last night’s glass throwing incident at the V Magazine party in the Boom Boom Room, perhaps the media should stop referring to her at Actress, Lindsay Lohan. If Miss Thing doesn’t start working soon, as an actress, then that adjective will no longer be applicable. Douche bag will be more suitable. Girl, snap out of it. Now.… Read More »

Just when we thought it was safe to get out of the water, that the celebrity-turned-fashion-designer trend was coming to an end—hello Sarah Jessica Parker—comes news that fashionista-slash-DJ Leigh Lezark, part of the trinella of sourpusses, the Mishapes, is doing a mini-collection for H & M at Selfridges in London. So, what, now all you need to do to become a fashion designer is know how to borrow clothes? The requirements have gotten so much easier. Surely pretty, and clearly not stupid, Lezark has made a career out of not smiling while standing behind a turntable flanked by two grumpy… Read More »

I did a piece on Bullying last year, around the time I was on the committee for Stomp Out Bullying. Seems like this conversation will never end so I am hereby reissuing it below. As someone who was bullied, it is my responsibility to continue to speak out against it. In regards to the Tracy Morgan flap, who surely spoke like a douche bag, he also happened to crack a hilarious joke. One of my saving graces during my bullying years was my ability to laugh in the face of danger. Humor is a great weapon against bullies. Bullies are… Read More »

We can add Kim Kardashian to the social media trend of Weinergate-like scandals. Seems like Kim has an affinity to sexting, and did so, while still courting her current fiancee, Kris Humphries. The recipient of Kim’s sex-typing is another athlete knucklehead, Bret Lockett, who blabbered to the media. What a douche bag. What is so hot about sexting? Am I so old and corny that I don’t get the sex appeal behind twinkling a few phone keys? Does the sheer act of typing the words “sex” or “touching myself” get one aroused? Let me start by admitting that I am… Read More »

What on Earth are you doing? You, meaning the media for giving unending amounts of real estate to Sarah Palin. Whether the media is covering her “I’m Not Going Anywhere Tour” (a.k.a. The Catch Me, Catch Me Tour) or giving her rebuttal time to maintain her cluelessness about Paul Revere for “ringing those bells”, we now have to suffer through 24,000 old emails from when she was Governor of Alaska, gazing at Russia from her back porch. The media are drunk on Sarah Palin’s Kool-Aid and now we are accosted with irrelevant plot points, junk mail and “You betchas” from… Read More »

Frankly, I am breching (vomiting in Yiddish). First of all, I am so over thinking about the sexual escapades of our politicians. It is just nauseating. Like I want to see Anthony Weiner‘s bare chest plastered across my 24″ monitor first thing in the morning? I almost puked…and I’m gay. I have never been a fan of tiny nipples and am still not. Especially when the nipples belong to the person who is supposed to be setting an example in our society. Remember when Obama was caught on camera in that bathing suit? He has tiny nipples, too. We would… Read More »

Please note that I Mean…What?!? has been hacked. If you received multiple emails from me, it is because of some douche bag that has nothing better to do. Please accept my apologies for this error. Hoping to fix this sitch. Peace and Grooviness…ABE… Read More »

UPDATE March 8, 2011: It’s official: black IS back! Don’t believe me? Check out the dark mood at Chanel. We all know that Karl Lagerfeld rules the fashion roost worldwide. So, if Karl says “Black uber alles” then so it is. And, from the looks of his somewhat over stuffed collection, black is here and hopefully to stay. When I say overstuffed, I mean the quilted, unflattering jumpsuits that will never live on the streets, but just in the magazines. For now, I am reveling in Black Power! March 7, 2011: For the past few seasons, fashion editors have been… Read More »

Welcome back, Lindsay Lohan. And what better time than when we are all trapped in our homes desperate for something/anything to talk about. Linsday just dripped her first single, “Back To Me”, since the year of the flood. … Read More »