“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

UPDATE March 8, 2011: It’s official: black IS back! Don’t believe me? Check out the dark mood at Chanel. We all know that Karl Lagerfeld rules the fashion roost worldwide. So, if Karl says “Black uber alles” then so it is. And, from the looks of his somewhat over stuffed collection, black is here and hopefully to stay. When I say overstuffed, I mean the quilted, unflattering jumpsuits that will never live on the streets, but just in the magazines. For now, I am reveling in Black Power! March 7, 2011: For the past few seasons, fashion editors have been… Read More »

In what is clearly the most insurmountable public relations snafu on Earth, well, fashion Earth anyway, Christian Dior was challenged to stay the course and host their fashion show today in Paris in spite of the debacle that is John Galliano. The above picture features the staff from Dior ateliers, who took the final bow at the show. This is the most fantastic, emotional, democratic, loving way to handle such an awkward moment and to thank those who attended the show. Yesterday The Huffington Post asked its zillions of readers whether or not the Dior and John Galliano shows should… Read More »

Is it me or does it feel like “coming out season” is under way in Hollywood? Since that NOH8 campaign started featuring weird straight people like Rachel Uchitel and Meghan McCain, it seems like gay stars are flying out of the closet in record speed. Ellen Degeneres paved the way for stars to see a clear path to success on television by being out and proud. That, and a few cosmetics contracts make Ellen the high-priestess of gay marketability. It used to be that stars would remain tucked away in the closet for fear of ruining their careers just by… Read More »

Clearly I am not a Jennifer Aniston fan. Not since last century when Friends was one of my favorite shows and I pined for “The Rachel” hairdo. I still do, but that is because I have no hair so I’ll take anything. No, after observing Jennifer in certain situations (lush) when I lived in Los Angeles, it took the wind of out the sail of loving Jennifer Aniston. Besides, the show was canceled by then and she changed up her hair. When she married Brad Pitt, I wondered if this was a Hollywood gay cover-up because they had the same… Read More »

The Daily Beast features the Best of Jersey TV today. Sure, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Jerseylicious, are fan favorites, but what do these annoying people do to represent the many other Jersey residents that are not Guidos and Guidettes? Let me tell you first hand….NOTHING. Rather than focus on the wonderful people who hail from New Jersey like Meryl Streep, Count Basie and Bruce Springsteen, we are now hyper focused on the Goombas like Snooki, Teresa Guidice and The Situation. A permanent blemish has scarred the Garden State. We can identify the turning point when… Read More »

Finally, men can come out of the closet…and we are not talking about their sexuality here, rather, that men can openly say they use cosmetics and still maintain their butchness…ish. The New York Times Style section has an article about the rapidly growing market of cosmetics created exclusively for men. I love that the evolution of man boils down to his desire to maintain his youth and beauty. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. On the contrary. When men became admitted metrosexuals…though I prefer the term Manzies for this purpose…all bets were off. Suddenly, “straight” men were allowed to… Read More »

The papers are trashing Jennifer Aniston for her newest bomb The Switch, which you could have seen coming a mile away by the premise alone. Who walks around with the sperm intended for the hoo-ha. Your biological time clock is ticking…what’s with the celebration before the fact? Hurry up girl…shove it in. Here’s how the casting of this role went down. INT. CAA OFFICES – DAY CAA AGENT: Here, Jen, do this movie, it’s called The Switch. JENNIFER: Who is the director? CAA AGENT: (Thinking to himself) Who does she think she is…Bette Davis? JENNIFER: Is it yet another comedy?… Read More »

Surely you are anticipating the I Mean…What?!? Gross Baboon of the Year Award, which will be granted later this year. Yes, move over Razzies, because the Gross Baboons are coming. For you newcomers, the GBOTY Award honors those annoying people that have graced monopolized the media to the point that it makes me say, “I don’t need to see that”. Nominees to date include: Mel Gibson, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods, Jon Gosselin, Joselyn James…get the picture? Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are the latest nominees and their new-found togetherness has even created a new category,… Read More »

We knew that Rachel Uchitel would not fade into the woodwork forever after taking the alleged millions of dollars from Tiger Woods in exchange for shutting her uber-collagen enhanced lips about their illicit sexual affair. The good news is, who needed her to tell us anything, my sources told me plenty. In particular, Tiger would demand sex AT LEAST three or four times a day, that she would have to drop what she was doing and run to his side…no questions asked. Clearly, the slogan “Tiger in his tank” has new meaning. Woodsy also preferred a different orifice each time,… Read More »

A while back I wrote a piece for The Huffington Post called Mistresses Anonymous. The inspiration for the article was in response to an item in Page Six about Jamie Jungers, the first in a series of hookers from Tiger Woods fame. Anyhoo, the gist was that Jamie was trying to hook up (for lack of a better term) with Sarah Symonds, the ex-hussy who Gordon Ramsey dilly-dallied (or is it diddle-daddled) with for seven years. Sarah had started a 12 Step Program called Mistresses Anonymous in an effort to help those who are powerless over rich, older men. Gotta… Read More »