“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Everyone is getting fresh cheeks these days. It all started with Bernie Madoff’s wife Ruth, then several Real Housewives and plenty of actresses in Hollywood. But now that young starlets are getting them, well, oy. Ali Lohan used to be a fresh-faced cutey. Sure, no beauty like her sister Lindsay, but still, fresh-faced. Now she is fresh cheeked. See below image of Lindsay, freshly cheeked at Kim Kardashian’s wedding.… Read More »

Y’all know that I am a huge supporter of Lindsay Lohan, correct? Whatever the trials and tribulations, I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Today—though I did hear some delicious gossip about Lindsay while she was in Santa Barbara this weekend. Forget it, I am not a yenta—I take pause with her choice of wedding ensemble. First of all, isn’t it a rule of thumb to not wear white unless you are the bride? Wasn’t that what started the huge cat fight last season on The Real Housewives of New York City? And that incensed the drunk one.… Read More »

Word spread like wildfire that Lindsay Lohan was caught with her pants down, well, she had to pull her pants down to pee on a stick so they could test her urine for alcohol content. Well, Lo-han and behold, guess who took a few nips of champagne at her champagne party? Honestly, even jail won’t help this chick. She needs to be slammed in a lock up rehab along with John Galliano. That’s of course if she ever wants to resume some assemblance of a life. Surely the courts will throw the book at her saying that she has squandered… Read More »

I am not a betting man so there will be no money on this, but from the tone of Sarah Palin‘s rhetoric, that girl is running for President like I am sitting here in my under-shorts. Never before have we had a potential candidate this confident to the point where she avoids the media, yet they follow her around like paparazzi do to Lindsay Lohan. It is mind boggling. The Washington Press Corps has been reduced to the likes of those who would cover the Axe Body Spray Lounge in the Hamptons. It would not surprise me if Ron Galella… Read More »

While we are on the subject of angry jerks, why not give a little shout out to Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, who at the end of the day, doesn’t stand a chance to get off without jail time, since the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. However her sentencing goes down, I really feel for Lindsay Lohan. I have worked with her and think she is really great. But with a father like Michael, who needs enemies. He should also get his stupd ass on a plan to either Haiti or Japan and make himself useful. He could… Read More »

Let’s face it, Superman is the most exhausted franchise of all. He makes Batman seem fresh and relevant. And the trouble with Spider-Man on Broadway is proving that fake flying is a bit of a fotz. But, you know how Hollywood is. They will milk a super hero to their last breath and Superman will fly again. Rumors are swirling that Lindsay Lohan is up for a role in the next Man of Steel caper, but not as Lois Lane. Who would believe that? She would be best served as a villain who gets it on with Superman while she… Read More »

OK, so Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. Big whoop. And she is moving to Venice, next door to Samantha Ronson. Like that was not the plan? Naturally, everyone is quick to judge Lindsay for stalking Sam, when frankly, that entire relationship from the get go was a garden variety, two-way street obsession, typical of many lesbian affairs. Oooh…..like I am wrong? There is something distinct about most lesbian relationships that I have observed first hand, through many close friendships. And you just don’t want to get into the middle of that, especially if you are a guy, because you… Read More »

Whether it is rumor or fact, if Lindsay Lohan is hitting up on Oprah for her own post rehab reality show for the OWN Network, then all I can say is fotz. And Oprah should know better. First of all, though Malin Akerman is cute and bubbly, who can compare the value to having Lohan in the Linda Lovelace biopic, Inferno, to sweet Malin? What do I know…besides plenty. I had been asked by Mashable to weigh on what Lindsay should do to bounce back during the jail era, and my thoughts still stand. She should do a theater piece… Read More »

It has been a while since I have mentioned Lindsay Lohan on I Mean…What?!? Frankly, her life resembles the movie Ground Hog Day as opposed to the light, frothy Mean Girls. Lindsay is suffering from The Boy Who Cried Wolf Syndrome, which is getting old…and the only heroine in the story is the cocaine. Rather than be like everyone else and judge her ad nauseum, I chose to stay out of the fray and let her chips fall where they may. And watching the endless turns of event, I would love to get my hands on a set of those… Read More »

Crushable called me to chime in on the whole Lindsay Lohan debacle. And a debacle it is. I think that judge was a little heavy handed with Lindsay. There were enough evilinas wishing her hard time, whereas, rehab was what I was hoping for her. Well, guess the evilinas won this round. But as to whether she will make a come back…duh…of course she will. Here is the article from Crushable. Lindsay Lohan has been in trouble with the law for awhile, but back in May, when she got stuck in Cannes after claiming her passport was stolen, we asked… Read More »