“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Charlie Sheen is the Grossest Baboon Of The Year…this or any other. UPDATE TO MY UPDATE: Have you seen any of the interviews with Charlie Sheen? His arrogance knows no bounds. He occasionally says funny things, but the joke ultimately is on us, because he gets to stay him, and we get to watch. However this drama ends regarding the CBS Show Two and a Half Men, he will go on to make more millions and prove his arrogance was the right way to be. Besides the cast and crew of TAAHM, who are the biggest losers here, I feel… Read More »

We have had more Lindsay Lohan court appearance outfits than episodes of  Jersey Shore. If MTV would piece together the amount of footage and hearsay related to Lindsay Lohan’s court appearances, they would have a Roots-long docu-drama that would garner endless ratings because whether you love her or a hater…Lindsay Lohan is fascinating. Quite honestly, Lindsay should have taken my advice as mentioned in Crushable, when asked how she should handle her post jail comeback. But what do I know? FROM CRUSHABLE: As for her post-prison plans, Abe advised her to keep a low profile, attend theater classes or maybe… Read More »

UPDATE: To all of the people who were seriously angry with me, even wishing me death, for having an opinion about what happened to Serene Branson the other night, please note that I wish her nothing but the best of health and well being. Your anger, however, is severely misplaced. To wish harm to others for finding humor is a world chock full of endless serious issues proves nothing besides how small minded and evil you evil-wishers are. Last year, I featured Lindsay Lohan‘s salacious video for Muse Magazine, something that I was hired to do, and you would have… Read More »

Just when you thought there could be no more meaningless awards shows a.k.a. the People’s Choice Awards, comes the lamest one yet. AOL has created an award called the Worst Celebrity Influence Award, the voters being a bunch of 10-15 year olds. Like I would care what a bunch of clueless tangerines have to say about anything. These are the kids who are probably hopped up on Ritalin and zoom around from dance class to soccer practice to whatever other after-school nonsense. The W.C.I. Award went to Miley Cyrus. That is in and of itself is the reason to ignore… Read More »

Rather than go on a vitriol of my own about the tone of this past election cycle, which I am fully convinced is due in large part to the way Sarah Palin ran her personal popularity contest, I’d rather bring a little light and levity to what is now a time for heavy hearts. This weekend, a tragedy of tremense proportions has befallen on Arizona, and the world. Any way you slice it, it was no different than the underwear bomber of last Christmas, and every other recent terrorist act. Acts that are becoming way too commonplace in a world… Read More »

I’d like to take this moment to wish Miley Cyrus a Merry Christmas. She’s been the object of scrutiny for years and I say leave her alone. She has brought me plenty of I Mean What?!? traffic and for that…you go girl and lap dance with whoever the hell you please. Peace and merriment forever… Today’s The New York Times Style section highlights Miley’s recent bout with Salvia. You must have seen the video of her bonging up with what is a legal substacne which causes hallucinations. Word is that her video will actually help draw attention to the danger… Read More »

A recent article in The New York Times Style about Miley Cyrus is reason one to celebrate the passing of Hannah Montana. The article quotes Percy Hamm, some 11-year old who is disenchanted with her recent risque behavior. When asked about the Vanity Fair pictorial, she said, “I don’t know what was going on in her head.” Like I…or Miley…give a hoot about what some judgmental tangerine thinks about her life choices? Let me clarify: A tangerine is what I call precocious, unruly, overly verbal, whiny kids. Several years ago, Tropicana was launching a line of fruit flavored drinks, and… Read More »

After a very heavy weekend of serious issues hanging over our heads…Ground Zero + Mosque = Nightmare, let’s take a respite from hard news. Today the airwaves are filled with a bunch of nobodies. In light of our failing economy, endless wars, catastrophe in Pakistan, we could use a dose of mindless blather. No? Let’s see who rates as major nobodies. Follow I Mean…What?!? on Twitter.… Read More »

Far be it from me to be a buzz kill, however, last time I checked we were still in the middle of two wars. Though the Afghanistan debacle is kind-of top-of-mind, we still have the Iraq situation, which gets very little media play…despite the fact that the July death toll there was the highest in two years. But, what do I know? Let’s just discuss the big news items of the day as though they are real hard-hitting news items. Hmmm, where shall I start? BREAKING NEWZZZ: Lindsay Lohan is able to smoke cigarettes while in rehab? How’s that for… Read More »

So Barack Obama is going to be a guest on The View. That is more than interesting. Surely, this was David Axelrod‘s idea. Considering how down the line Obama’s ratings have gotten and while I am at it, Axelrod’s recent outing on the Sunday talk shows was less than stellar. Yup, it is time for yet another achy-breaky PR blitz the goal being to Re-Hail to the Chief. Granted, this is probably the worst financial time on the planet and the Administration is doing whatever it can to help our economy, but the war in Afghanistan is putting the nail… Read More »