“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to… Read More »

Here is what I cannot stand about the liberal media. That you have a certified jerk and admitted Oxycontin addict like Rush Limbaugh, rushed off to the hospital while on his Christmas vacation, admitting to the medical crews that he was taking drugs for his back problems. That old excuse? Where are all the conflicting reports? Where are the many spoofs on his drug addiction? Where is that hospital report? If this was any other well-known person (I hate to call him a celebrity because he is so gross), it would be all over the tabloids. But yoo hoo…must you… Read More »

Am I just an old, jaded, desensitized grump who disagrees with everything out of sheer habit or do I say what many people feel, and don’t say anything?!? Looking at the list that Barbara Walters (Babba Wawwa for those of you who remember Rosanne Rosanna Danna) put together for her 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 reads like the 10 Most Googled People on Earth. Frankly, Google should do their own online TV show and let Babba settle into the distance. Google-able and Fascinating are not the same thing in my mind. Let’s discuss for one minute the word fascinating.… Read More »

I don’t have much to say about last night’s State Dinner besides that it is part of the White House protocol and that it must be maintained. Is it annoying? Perhaps to those who are not invited. Does it do anything for us politically? Maybe but probably not.  Are rituals and institutions a good thing? One could argue this in either direction. The fact remains, we have them, and with this new White House, the affair needed to be amazing. Why? Because. And if you don’t like that answer? Too bad. Michelle Obama looked fantastic, the space was elegant, and… Read More »

Some days there are a slew of silly stories that are worth commenting on. This is one of those days. There is no real theme, no rhyme, no reason. Well, surely there is no reason for these people to be in the news, but since they are, hello fodder. NEWSFLASH!!! Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin have become friends since the ‘I hate gays (except my mother) speech’. Birds of a feather. NEWSFLASH!!!  Carrie Prejean confesses to sex tape on Sean Hannity’s FOX-TV News Show: “It was the biggest mistake of my life-ish.” To read past installments of The Nobody News,… Read More »

As I perused all the headlines and sidelines of  today’s “news” websites, I am amazed at the items that make the grade. It is an ongoing inner battle for whether I want to know things about celebrities, but really not want to know…as in TMI (too much information) or WC (who cares) or my fave new acronym IMW (I mean what). We will never go back to a gentler time if the headlines are filled with celebrity minutia, as in the case of these news stories…which frankly, are so uninteresting…that I am sleeping while writing.… Read More »

The headlines in the newspapers these days are scarier than the first edition of Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis. With the kooks around the country coming out in droves to air their crazy anti-Obama madness, I’m almost afraid to leave my house for fear of some right-wing zealot on the attack with a loaded gun. And New Yorkers, listen up. Don’t think just because you are in New York City that you are any safer from that crowd. Once Rudy Giuliani turned this city into Disneyland and all the horrendous corporate types came swarming in, plenty of conservative kooks must… Read More »

My usual routine is to brew a pot of coffee, read the headlines online and determine what’s my story of the day…then start writing. Somehow nothing struck my fancy. Sure, there is the health care issue (debacle) that is exploding in our faces. The fact that right wing fringe lunatics are leading the charge and changing the dynamic of getting universal health care is heartbreaking. But not shocking. And that Sarah Palin still gets this much airtime? Well, it’s all just wrong. In an effort to shake the Glenn Becks out of my head, I perused the gossip websites only… Read More »

So, there you have it. Levi and I have both now gone on record to say that Sarah Palin resigned her post as Governor, due to financial reasons. All these bloviators and regular folks too, I might add, who said with conviction that she will go for the 2012 presidential run are out to lunch. I wasn’t kidding when I quoted Deep Throat, “Follow the money”. And now, it’s official, since Levi Johnston said so. Levi and I…blood brothers…fraternal twins…life partners. Naturally, the Huffington Post did not post my story from last week. No, only Levi’s pearl of wisdom get… Read More »

I simply must get political with you for one minute. Sure, Obama’s in (yay) and Republicans are dwindling like ad revenues from glossy magazines (boo), but something extremely odd happened yesterday in the state of New York and I am not sure what to do about this. For sure I need to share my histrionics. In a horrendous twist of fate, two Senate Democrats in New York state have crossed the aisle to become (shudder at the thought) REPUBLICANS! This is as bad, worse, than Darth Vader crossing over to the Dark Side. This is like the Evil Empire Strikes… Read More »