“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Look out Iowa, here she comes, barreling down the pike for more heart felt aggrandizing. Yup, Sarah Palin is loading up that I’m Not Going Anywhere Tour Bus and hightailing across the plains to head Michele Bachmann off at the pass. (And her little dog, Marcus, too.) Sarah has tasted the fruits of our national landscape—no, not the edible ones from the Great Plains—rather, from the bully pulpit and media glare of the national stage… and she is hungry for more. Sarah Palin is a garden variety addict, maybe not with drugs, but she is clearly addicted to the spotlight.… Read More »

Since I Mean What established the expression, Manzie, people have been sending me emails asking what is appropriate to wear for fear of not looking like a Manzie. Now that we are drenched in the middle of the August heat, the topic of Men In Shorts came up from a guy named Bruce. Hey Abe, About the Manzie thing…I was wearing a pair of shorts the other day and because I’m not tall a.k.a. short, they were a little long and I was worried that that were looking like men’s capris!! I may never be able to wear those shorts… Read More »

Now that the S & P has downgraded our credit rating, I would like to mention that this is the same organization that approved all the credit swaps and hanky panky that lead to the demise of the Free World as we know it. The Standard & Poor (whose name is apropos) took this position based on our contentious political theater during the debt ceiling debate. This is unprecedented and shocking because those who sit in judgment shall not judge. And if the Lord didn’t actually say that, well, he did now. With the downgrade in place, the Democrats, yes,… Read More »

Who didn’t love the first season of Jersey Shore? MTV hit pay dirt with their updated Big Brother starring Goombas and Goombettes—a peek into the lives of those Bridge and Tunnel types that you otherwise turned your nose up at. It was a hoot. Snooki, The Situation and Pauly D were refreshing characters in all their low-brow, innocence and simplicity. Anyone in their right mind (we are talking about the MTV viewing audience here) would not give these folks the time of day beyond observing how they live and act. Like some kind of sociological experiment gone awry. Somehow, this… Read More »

Really? Everyone is in an uproar about the photo spread in French Vogue featuring a ten year old girl wearing high fashion? Really? The mommy blogs are in a Twitter? Big deal. Everyone go to a mirror and look deep in your soul as to where you participated and why this is even the case. We glamorize Toddlers & Tiaras, we make fashion for tweens the most relevant statement, so naturally we have to tap ten year olds to grace the covers of magazines. This, my dear Watson, is because we have let that 1970’s expression “Sex Sells” become the… Read More »

Poor Sarah Palin. Now that she has been marginalized and stuffed back in her Wasilla box, she is desperately trying to claw her way back into some sort of rhetorical relevance by spewing hatred on, what else, Fox News. Any money bet that she had her finger in the reality show deal for Beehive, the hair salon that is credited for her up-dos. The new show, Big Hair Alaska will air on TLC, the network that brought you Sarah Palin killing animals and winking. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The other thing is that she is on contract with Fox… Read More »

We live by the words of Alexander Pope: “To err is human; to forgive, divine. The Not Best Dressed List can also be seen on Avenue Insider.… Read More »

Congratulations Michael Kors and his soon be be spouse, Lance LePere. Lord knows I wish all gays happily ever after my hope is that gay marriage statistics kicks straight marriage in the ass. This year, up to 50% of straight marriages will end in divorce. So gays? Listen up. Stay put. Otherwise, this is my feeling of gay marriage now that it is official in New York. Look, if Iowa can get the gay marriage thing together, so, indeed, should every state in the union. And that includes Minnesota, where Michelle and Marcus Bachmann have proven that gay weddings do… Read More »

Throughout all this talk of the debt ceiling, the Republicans are now officially beginning to look like cartoon characters. The release of The Smurfs movie frames this debate in a very insightful way. Will these weirdly colored creatures survive their situations? Oh, I am talking about the orange folks in the Republican party, lead by John Boehner. He and Donald Trump are like the Tom & Jerry of orange blabbermouths. Nothing would be more genius than if John Boehner started crying over this process, caught on tape. The tension must be so thick in his chamber, that you can cut… Read More »

Sometimes reading the morning news reminds me of the Enchanted Forest when Dorothy and the three caballeros are in search of the Land of Oz, only to be threatened by the pending doom of lions and tigers and bears. In that same vain, reading through today’s headlines, the three ladies who otherwise just lunch, Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are doing to me what those animals did to our heroes from The Wizard of Oz. Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for their use of a singer/model, Melissa Molinaro, who kinda looks like her.… Read More »