“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

As New York Fashion Week looms and celebrities are being schnorred up for front row, the topic of the Jersey Shore cast was bound to come up. The New York Post‘s Page Six reports today that the cast is demanding tickets to shows. The only viable candidate for my money is Jenni Farley (JWoww), but only if she would agree to a complete IMW Makeover. As much of a fan that I am, these kids are way too Jon Gosselin for anyone in the fashion industry, besides Ed Hardy, that is. Shedding their image would be the only way to… Read More »

Word is out that Anna Wintour is kicking up the heat on Fashion’s Night Out and pitching the networks for a Victoria’s Secret-type televised special for CBS. The show would include a huge, grand-scale fashion show filmed at Lincoln Center, which would also serve as the official kick-off to the new home of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week, which is being moved uptown in September. That should create enough drama, cat fights and gridlock to choke a horse. No one is looking forward to moving the tents uptown to the Big Apple Circus tents except Anna and her underling Stephanie Winston… Read More »

Nice doo, doll. Say what you want about Jake “Heartthrob” Gyllenhaal, but I think he is beyond vanilla. In this Prince of Persia promo shot, he is more Princess of Persia, with the pouty-lip, deer-caught-in-a-headlights look, which is reminiscent of Loredana Jolie. See what I mean?… Read More »

Beyoncé Heat by trentisthenewpink“> Check out this uber-sexy dress that Beyonce is sporting for her new fragrance, Heat. And heat there is. JWOW heat, if you ask me. Is there any difference between these two items of clothing? NO! The JWOW Blouse is beyond. I am not clear if she designed it or is just selling it on her website…but I say to you…run…now…click on her site. I love that she calls this one item her clothing line. You just have to love her for that. Because, really…what else do you need in your wardrobe besides a half-yard of a… Read More »

At the Grammy Awards, some queen from E! Entertainment reported that Brad and Angelina were not separated. Well, did he read I Mean…What?!? My source said days ago that there was NO TRUTH to the rumor about a pending split between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I was told by the insider that while in New York City filming the retakes of Salt, the two were lovey-dovey and there were no signs of martial woes. Perhaps we can just chalk this whole media frenzy up to another case of Brangelina Envy?… Read More »

Boy, am I glad I am not a socialite or one of these ladies-who-lunch that have to wear Haute Couture in order to justify my existence. Pawing through the images from this week’s 2010 Spring Couture shows, it is hard to understand why some of these designers even bother. Naturally, there are choices galore at Chanel, Armani Prive, Christian Dior and even Stephane Rolland (major improvement this outing, click for last season’s yikes). You really have to be uber-fabulous and have even more uber-fabulous places to go in order to justify some of these eccentric pieces of art to frolic… Read More »

Ah, the allure of fame. Fortune tends to follow suit…unless you are Nick Lachey or Jon Gosselin. But, those are the exceptions to the rule. Back to fame. “Celebrity is obscurity waiting to happen,” says Carrie Fisher. And true dat. So who makes the list this week? Could it be anyone from the cast of Ugly Betty? That would be a yes. There is also Lordana Jolie, winner, Gross Baboon of the Year. Or perhaps it is Mel B…AGAIN…since I put her on the original Last Five Minutes of Fame List when I launched this category…fyi.… Read More »

Celebrity / Socialite / Rachel Uchitel? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Check out this birthday invitation for the hooker / hag / collagen-filled / tranny-like thing that Tiger Woods used to date. She calls herself a celebrity / socialite. In what circles? My source told me that Rachel was Tiger’s blow-up doll. She was completely on call every time he got a boner and that he exhausted every one of her orifices. Like a hooker. Once on a trip, she kept calling my friend, between boners, in an attempt to get up for air. But as the story goes his sexual… Read More »

It really is a shame that dogs have gotten a bad rap because of the basic human need to name-call. What is more amazing than your dog? Nothing. The expression, “It’s a dog’s life” refers to the easy, pressure-free existence that our pampered dogs live. Laying, stretching, nibbling, laying, stretching, nibbling. They are plenty busy. But then, somewhere along the line, people started referring to other humans as dogs and not in a good way. How did that happen? If I was a dog, a real one, I would be pissed. Women call men dogs for looking at other women,… Read More »

Have you seen the images of the Christian Dior Couture Collection? Are you kidding me? John Galliano is so amazing, that it hurts my eyes to look at some of the other showings that are under way now in Paris for the Spring Couture Shows. I’ll get to those outings shortly, but I am not finished gushing on this “what fashion is all about” collection. John Galliano is so fierce that he probably scares himself. His throw back to Fifties glamour, with Gay Nineties thrown in there was just so inspiring that anyone else that remotely calls themselves designers should… Read More »