“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Let’s go back in time a few months when NBC announced its “ground breaking” late-night turned prime-time programming coup d’ etat. The hype was exhausting. Leno was a bigger news story than both wars put together. Jeff Zucker touted, “The Jay Leno Show will change the face of prime-time television”. The peacock network was basking in the glow of their brilliant maneuver way before the first show aired. Jay Leno even said, “If we go down in flames, we’ll be laughing on the way down, believe me,” during the summer press tour. Do you think Jay Leno and Jeff Zucker… Read More »

For weeks, I have been begging the media to let dead Tigers lay…as in the case of Tiger Woods and his many whores. But as time marches on, we are still accosted by claims from these cheap hussies, case in point and the winner of Gross Baboon of the Year, Loredana Jolie…no relation to Angelina…who must be plotzing as far as possible Google affiliations go. Seriously though, I am so not interested in Tiger Wood’s penis and now I need to know even more about it? And this hooker Loredana needs to try her hand at writing a book?!? What… Read More »

I have been posting the Last Five Minutes of Fame for several months and Tila Tequila never made it because prior to my starting I Mean…What?!? in February ’09, Tila’s 15 minutes had pretty much been up. Well, the saddest reason has brought Tila back into the limelight and someone needs to keep her down. Lord knows this is her potential comeback. Maybe she and Loredana can collaborate on a book or better yet, a trashy reality show with hookers and bisexuals and needy bitches. What could we call it…hmmmmm…The Real Low Lives of Las Vegas. Oh Bravo…where are you?… Read More »

How dare Weatherproof stand by their choice to use the image of Barack Obama in their massive billboard advertising campaign in Times Square. Just because Barack is the only person that would wear that old man crap. Oh, come now, Barack is no style maven. Haven’t you seen the jeans Obama wears? Yikes. They are like mom jeans for dads. I call them Obama Mama Jeans. But that’s not the point I am trying to make here. The fact remains that Barack Obama is our president and should not be used in vain. No matter how vain any president is…and… Read More »

My head is spinning from the announcement of Bristol Palin’s new public relations firm that has launched called BSMP LLC. Since you asked, that stands for Bristol Sharon Marie Palin Lascivious Lame Crapola. Bristol has become the spokes-model for Candie’s Foundation against teenage pregnancy and abstinence, not that she would know anything about any of that. But besides the point, what next step is there for the teenage mother, really? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Palin compound (nee house) as they sat around trying to figure out next steps in world domination on the heels… Read More »

As we close out the year and begin anew, let’s see who has what it takes to keep their puss in the light of media glare and what nudniks gets cast aside like a pair of old shoes. It’s a tough business, this business of show, and you have to be cunning, baffling and powerful…oh, that’s alcohol, but still applicable here. Who doesn’t benefit from a booze addled night coupled with a few Hooter-types? Can you say Tiger Woods thirteen times fast? Anyhoo, here to kick-off 2010, is the first installment of Last Five Minutes of Fame.… Read More »

There are two dreadful days of the year. No, not April 15, that one I can stomach. These are the bitter pills of days. One of them is that first day back to work (or school, which caused the problem in the first place) after the long, joyous summer. I did a piece The End of Summer Stomach Ache earlier this year. It is clear as a bell why they call it Labor Day because it’s as painful as being in labor. The other horrendous day is the first day back to work after the Christmas holidays having overdosed on… Read More »

How did The New York Times Style section figure out a way to stretch an article about Justin Bieber as long as it was? The guy is still in diapers for Christ’s sake. Is there really enough depth for such an extensive piece? Oh, right, the Jingle Ball, now there’s a life-altering lesson to share. Needless to say, when I read that his mother was praying that the Jewish hip-hop manager would not be their ticket to fame and fortune, I cringed. But to learn that Justin has a swagger coach…for what…to give his prepubescent genital area some Elvis action…well…I… Read More »

Here is what I cannot stand about the liberal media. That you have a certified jerk and admitted Oxycontin addict like Rush Limbaugh, rushed off to the hospital while on his Christmas vacation, admitting to the medical crews that he was taking drugs for his back problems. That old excuse? Where are all the conflicting reports? Where are the many spoofs on his drug addiction? Where is that hospital report? If this was any other well-known person (I hate to call him a celebrity because he is so gross), it would be all over the tabloids. But yoo hoo…must you… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWkNbjZyDc Produced by Image Loading for IMW-TV.… Read More »