“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Gross Baboon of the Year Award kicks off awards season here at I Mean What. Hey, look, the Razzies started somewhere and surely not in a ballroom. … Read More »

This political season, the media is making mountains out of molehills. Case in point, the supposed momentum of Rick “I HATE SEX” Santorum. Momentum schmomentum… and I use the term schmo-mentum literally here. This guy is such a dufus, that he actually thinks he has a chance. All of a sudden he has that Orange Republican Glow (ORG) about him as shown above. Clearly when a Republican is having a good day, they run to get a spray tan and there is no one in their camp to tell them that they look ridiculous. Cases in point: see below. So,… Read More »

Not trying to outdo Barbara Walters, but surely after seeing her choices for Ten Most Fascinating People, I have been advised–and well-advised at that–to create my own annual Ten Most Fotz-inating People since Walters’ choices have been so banal… kinda like the people that grace the pages of I Mean What?!? … Read More »

You cannot believe who is on Baba Wawa’s list for 2011. Fascinating? I call them Fotz-inating. (Etymology of the word Fotz: It started out as a sarcastic reference to something that is or someone that “thinks” they are fascinating. So, it went from, “Oh, you’re fascinating” to “You are fotzinating” to “fotzy balloons” to “fotzy” to the currently, most used…”fotz”.)… Read More »

Alas poor Donald… I knew him when he was white.… Read More »

Throughout all this talk of the debt ceiling, the Republicans are now officially beginning to look like cartoon characters. The release of The Smurfs movie frames this debate in a very insightful way. Will these weirdly colored creatures survive their situations? Oh, I am talking about the orange folks in the Republican party, lead by John Boehner. He and Donald Trump are like the Tom & Jerry of orange blabbermouths. Nothing would be more genius than if John Boehner started crying over this process, caught on tape. The tension must be so thick in his chamber, that you can cut… Read More »

Now that Donald Trump has been rendered useless post the anti-climactic finale of The Celebrity Apprentice, coupled with being booed of the political stage for sounding like a blowhard, comes his latest effort to shine the spotlight back on him. Since Ivanka just had a baby, all eyes are on her for sure so The Donald must feel like an old shoe moping around the manse. Today he bloviated over to Fox News to blather on about how Republicans should take on the big gamble and let the country risk defaulting on their loans. Well, he is a betting man,… Read More »

Yesterday, Madam Palin suffered from hoof in mouth disease. Today she feels liberated. “You don’t need to be in office to effect positive change,” Sarah Palin said. We know girl, that is why you quit being the Governor of Alaska. So you can positively effect your pocketbook. She went on to say, “Hopefully, I can inspire others to know that you don’t need a title.” Who is she kidding? She is a title-aholic. From Miss Wassila to Mayor of Podunk to Governor of the Tundra, to Wanna-Be Vice-President and to in any minute now, Presidential hopeful. Sure she wants her… Read More »

I have been feeling very nostalgic lately. We are living in a time of war, poverty, obesity, adultery, mediocrity, obsession with celebrity, and the Tea Party. It reminds me of that scene in The Ten Commandments when Moses comes down with the tablets only to find the “chosen people” have completely run amuck. Donald Trump is like that Edward G. Robinson character, hyping up the flock to pray to the golden calf, a.k.a. Kim Kardashian. Who have we become? Why are like sheep to the slaughter of our own best intentions? Eh, this is not for now, but I did… Read More »

In a stunning turn of events, last night Barack Obama overshadowed Donald Trump and The Celebrity Apprentice as NBC cut away from the final moments of the show to announce that Osama Bin Laden was dead. In light of this, I suspect that Donald Trump will have a double bone to pick with the President. In an effort to maintain his spot in the news cycle, Donald Trump still has a few more weeks of The Celebrity Apprentice to promote and what better way than at the expense of Barack Obama? You can hear the headlines now. Why did they… Read More »