“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

What’s with all the attention being thrust on CNBC, that stupid little, wanna-be-important, financial TV news service based in Fort Lee, New Jersey…the what…financial capital of the world? Is enough ever going to be enough? This putz Rick Santelli is enjoying every last minute of coverage he’s getting…insults and all…’cause remember, any press is good press. And that Senator Jon Kyl (Republican barf) is no better. These two clowns are implying that the AIG payoffs are “no big thing”. The only no big things here are the size of your dicks. ‘Cause surely they have little dicks, which render them… Read More »

These two are pretty awesome. Attorney General of New York Andrew Cuomo put the pedal to the metal yesterday for those crooks at AIG and as of 4:28PM was issuing subpoenas to those who were planning to ignore the national outcry against the multi-million dollar bonus fest. He is demanding the list of proposed recipients of the dough, their job descriptions at AIG, and copies of their “contracts”. You know, those things are are usually meant to be broken, except in the case of these AIG scumbags…’cause we all know…that the rules don’t apply to those creeps. I mean…what?!? Get… Read More »

Look, far be it from me to tell anyone what to do…but when you think about how many friggen kooks there are strolling the planet, I for one, would surely not want to be an AIG employee caught in the quagmire of some crackpot that’s decided “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” and go on a friggen rampage at your offices. So, might I suggest that you people cave. Cave, bitch, cave. Don’t take that money and run. Just run. Run for the hills. ‘Cause if you ignore this nationwide outcry…I would surely… Read More »

Now that Bernie is off to the slammer, it’s all about his lovely wife Ruth, who I bet is so far up the ass of this Ponzi scheme that she can’t breathe. I’d like to first note that her cheeks and forehead look fierce. I will bet HER bottom dollar that she has the same injectibles as Madonna. Come on. First of all, I have looked in every article written to date about the Madoff’s and nowhere do they list her age. Bernie is 70. So, then I will estimate her as not much younger. Now for a 65-70 year… Read More »

Here are the leading perpetrators of hawking way too much Republican manifesto blabber, and they need to stop. Better, they need to shut the fuck up while we try to calmly navigate through the uncharted waters of getting this country through an unprecedented financial crisis, the largest in our lifetime. I am not eloquent enough to go on and argue the Democratic side now populating the bloviator news channels, but what I do know (as a layman) is that whatever these clowns were saying over the past eight years DID NOT WORK and a big reason why were are where… Read More »

As we say goodbye to that ugly fuck Bernie Madoff (and hopefully his wife, sons and anyone else involved) I thought it fitting to Kumbaya together and sing this lovely song. What better way to send off to the Wicked Witch of the Upper East Side than with these lyrics to “Bye Bye Birdie”, once sung by the achingly beautiful Ann Margaret. Bye Bye Bernie No one will miss you so; Bye Bye Bernie, Glad they made you go? No more Ponzis, It’s grabbed you by the nuts; Don’t cry Bernie, Just cause you’re a putz. I’ll miss your ugly… Read More »

Excuse me while I stick my fingers in my ears and, “La la la la la la la la la la la la la la.” Who can listen to all this endless Rihanna drama? Like this and Oct-O-Mom stories are what we have been relegated to at a time when there’s so much turmoil around the world. And no, I don’t mean the friggen economy….cause, la la la la la la to that too. Isn’t there something horrendous going on in Darfur that we should be discussing or how about what’s really going on at the Mexican border. Yikes. I… Read More »

1. Ashley Dupree for one. In today’s NY Post she goes on about her new found yoga body and that it has brought her salvation. First of all, just getting into a few positions in spandex similar to the ones you did nude for $$$ does not salvation bring. Oh, and she also copped a new yoga friend: Russell Simmons. “Russel’s become a mentor, and has helped me work through my issues. I feel liberated and honored that people like him support me. I’m starting to feel respected for who I am.” Oh really? Does getting a publicist hasten the… Read More »

Hi y’all. So I am off to get a little bit of color in my cheeks since NYC has frozen the pigments of my skin and I am that lovely shade of NYC white. I’m down in Florida having a reunion with Sal DeFalco, my BFF from the Studio 54 glory days. Been looking at old pictures from the 70’s and I will scan a couple and upload next week. Have a great weekend. I sure will. xoxo ABE… Read More »

I caught renowned artist Kenny Scharf creating the outdoor murals at The Armory Show in New York City, which opened yesterday. The VIP preview started at 3PM, so naturally I got there noon, but was allowed access by the event’s producer Paul Morris, who has taken on quite the challenge by expanding the show two-fold in an economy that warrants “the scale back”. And I say kudos, girl. The sense I got walking through two very long piers filled with art is that the creative community is sick and tired of all the doom and gloom in daily conversations, news… Read More »