“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Are you like me in that sometimes you don’t feel part of the action? No matter what you do for a living, who you know (celebrities, taste-makers), regardless of how fierce you were in your youth, and now with the face-paced, cluster-f#&k of social media, there is no keeping up with the Joneses. Surely not with the Kardashians. Imagine if you got paid for every time you had sex, washed your face or went to the gym. How did I not get onto that trajectory? Talk about missing the boat. Or in the case of the Kardashians, the yacht.… Read More »

Comes word of a new endorsement deal from Kris Jenner, who has clearly given up on her daughter’s ability to make some dough-ray-mee by signing on to be the spokes-model for a labia cream, Zestra that enhances old lady orgasms. Are you breching (vomit in Yiddish) yet? You sure should be. If not, I am for you. Imagine Grandma Jenner, and no, I do not mean Kris, I mean Bruce, giving all sorts of titillating pleasure to Kris Jenner in their Kalabasas Kompound. The question really is, as true reality television whores, will Kris and Bruce let the cameras roll… Read More »

Bummer! AMI, that high-brow publisher news sources such as the Star and Radar Online have backed off the Kardashian Khronicle. Just when I was so looking forward to curling up in my leopard print, fire-retardant Kardashian Snuggie from Sears to catch up on all the lovely (fake) stories that Kris Jenner wanted me to read. Shucks, back to Joan Didion and Chelsea Handler. The news is that Kris was acting like the Momager Bitch From Hell and demanded 100% control of editorial content. “AMI chief David Pecker made it clear that there was no way he was going to tell… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCOy_J1jSn0 This just might be the scariest (and I use the term loosely here) music video…ever. Kris Kardashian Jenner clearly has had her sights on a celebritard career for herself and when you hear her voice, well.. yikes. Since then, she has been (appropriate title) living vicariously though her daughters, which I had suggested in The Days of Kim’s Lives… All Nine of Them. As always, I was right. Also, I guess the talent runs in the family from Kris’ side . Kim clearly inherited her pipes…. and audacity of hope. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdkHwxfeEN8  … Read More »

The lead story in the New York Post says that the Kardashians are over. Those who would pay for their services to host events or grace the covers of magazines are not taking their calls and avoiding them like the plague. Well, no kidding. However, I would like to speak in defense of the Kardashians and go on record to say—though they are endlessly annoying—that you cannot blame them for their meteoric rise to the top of the celebritard heap. Nor can you revel in their gradual demise. That action is as gross if not grosser than what the Kardashians… Read More »

Look, I don’t have much time with the intermittent Internet issues here in Tulum, Mexico but when I spotted this item on The Huffington Post (which I finally accessed for the first time in days) I thought, WTF?!? Kim Kardashian sent out a series of tweets on Christmas evening, including two messages to the official Twitter account of Barbie. “Merry Christmas Barbs @BarbieStyle! Long time no see! What did Ken get you for Christmas? Miss you doll!” she wrote to the social media account of a fictitious plastic toy. When the toy became sentient and responded, Kardashian added, “I’m sure we… Read More »

OK, so you wake up at the crack of dawn to this site and tell me you want to write some pithy little commentary about a Republican or a Kardashian or anything that has nothing to do with waking up in a jungly beachfront situation. I’ll be in Tulum for the next 8 days with kind of internet access and the inability to text. Wishing all of you equal parts fabulousness in every moment of your lives. So until the Iowa primary…see ya in drips and drabs.… Read More »

People are boycotting the Kardashians? Hey, I am the first one to poke fun at the Kardashian family. But over 277,000 people have signed the petition to boycott the Kardashians. That is just insane or inane, which makes these boycotters no better than the Kardashians, ecxept maybe just more jealous. What ever happened to the expression “live and let live”? If you are not into them, then don’t watch their shows or wear leopard print. If you are sick to your stomach from listening to their money making scams? Change the channel, turn the page, click away. Like these boycotters… Read More »

Patsy and Edina spoof the Kardashians on the new Absolutely Fabulous… Read More »

What did I tell you? Three weeks ago, when the Breaking Newzzz of Kim Kardashian‘s unexpected divorce from Kris “The Brick Shit House” Humphries came to light, I predicted that the Kris & Kim divorce will be a major soap opera, which I titled The Days of Kim’s Lives…All Nine of Them. Well, since the dish has started flying, I am changing the name of the soap opera to As The Stomach Turns because this divorce is going to be a doozy. Before the ink is even dry—from the Parker Pen that was pitched to Kim to sign the divorce… Read More »