“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

For those of you who do not quite know what a Fotzy Balloon is, I figured this is a critical moment to explain it since the fotzy balloons are coming. So…What is FOTZY or FOTZ ? Etymology: What started out as a sarcastic reference to something, someone, well, anything, that “thinks” or acts like they are way too fascinating. It’s started as a sarcastic dishy slam: “Oh, they’re fascinating”. And evolved to… “Well, aren’t they fotzinating”. Which shrunk down to… “They are fotzy”. Which became… “Fotzy Balloons.” And finally… “Fotz”. Here are a few examples: Bing is fotz. What Madonna… Read More »

Fiscal Cliff Schmiscal Schmliff. I am beyond over it. If I hear the words John or Boehner anytime soon I will bust a gut, surely not a move.… Read More »

You cannot believe who is on Baba Wawa’s list for 2011. Fascinating? I call them Fotz-inating. (Etymology of the word Fotz: It started out as a sarcastic reference to something that is or someone that “thinks” they are fascinating. So, it went from, “Oh, you’re fascinating” to “You are fotzinating” to “fotzy balloons” to “fotzy” to the currently, most used…”fotz”.)… Read More »

The tide has turned for Sarah Palin. I recently said, “I don’t care how often Sarah Palin appears on Fox News, nor how disdainfully she speaks of our President while giving kudos to Donald “Orange” Trump for being the Birther-in-Chief, the fact remains that the wind is out of her sail and I couldn’t be happier. Michele Bachmann has stolen her thunder and she must be freaking out.” Boy, what a difference a weekend makes. That One Nation Tour Bus is kicking Michele and every Republican hopeful in the pants. Imagine the ego bloat that those two reality stars, Sarah… Read More »

Everyone and their cousin is chiming in on who looked great or who looked like crap on the Emmy Red Carpet.  Surely I am tuning in tonight to hear Joan Rivers and Kelly Osbourne’s two cents on who they think is Best and Worst Dress. SIDEBAR: Just saw Joan Rivers’ Piece of Work this weekend, and she really is a dynamo. Glad E! brought her back into their fold. Anyhoo, yes, I can’t agree more with most of the commentaries but one thing I cannot forgive is the Emmy Up Do. I’m sorry, but there are two moments in a… Read More »

According to Lindsay Lohan’s tweet, Sam Ronson spit in her face at Coachella. R U kidding? Move on girls. Enough. Yikes. – TWITTER The Mario Testino/Kate Moss book will sell out for sure at $472 or whatever price. – HUFFINGTON POST httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2sYfsFv_i0&feature=player_embedded Kate Gosselin (March of the Wooden Soldiers) was finally booted off DWTS. Next up…more reality television. My friend at Warner Brothers said she is impossible. – JUST JARED Oh, no, Heather Locklear was just arrested for a hit and run. I am sooo upset. I love her. And am so sad that Melrose Place is canceled. – TMZ… Read More »

Real Housewives of Saks Fifth Avenue…Yikes. – GAWKER Vera Wang to bring bridezillas to the masses. – NY MAGAZINE Oprah says FOTZ! – PEOPLE Save Kate? Is George Lopez searching for ratings now that he is getting bounced to midnight from Conan O’Brien? Save Kate Gosselin? From herself.  – JUST JARED PETA is freaked about the way Kim Kardashian is holding this cat. Oy, what was she thinking? – D LISTED… Read More »

The Charlie Sheen & Brooke Mueller saga of tremense proportions is never going to end. Surely not on a good note. -DISH RAG Kara DioGuardi is smokin’ hot. The hottest thing on American Idol for damn sure. – HUFFINGTON POST What to wear to Coachella? G-STAR cool as ice denim ensemble…what else? I MEAN…WHAT?!? Kate Gosselin may be annoying to many…but I have to actually hand it to her…she knows how to play the media better than…like…anyone. – PEOPLE Move over Darth Vader…Sarah Palin is the new Leader of the Evil Empire. – GAWKER Are you on Twitter? Click here… Read More »

The only thing sadder than Shania Twain’s new reality show is the fact that my assistant Ryan is going to spend the summer watching it. -PEOPLE Lindsay Lohan’s fall collection for 6126 is here…fotz. Major, major fotz. -INSTYLE Terry Richardson wants to shoot your penii. -THE CUT You ain’t seen nothing yet, in terms of Kate Gosselin and reality television. She’ll be dancing into your living room on yet, another show about her and her shoes…or something.  -USA TODAY Cissy Houston says her daughter Whitney Houston is fine, now buzz off. -DIGITAL SPY Are you on Twitter? Click here to… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »