“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Awards Season is almost over. All we have to do is get through today’s Monday morning quarterbacks (present company included) spewing “Who looked like a mess” or “What was she thinking” or “WTF was she wearing” and then we can rest our weary bones. Yes, we can retire from The Joan Rangers Fashion Police Force and become civilians again rather than critics. My recurring theme of the evening was, The Dress That Ate The Actress. This means that there were not enough fittings, or the stylist in the room was from the Helen Keller School of Styling. Something was a… Read More »

A while back I wrote a piece about Mistresses Anonymous, the organization started by Sarah Symonds of the Gordon Ramsey indiscretion. Seems like all the women in the boat of having had an affair with a celebrity married man, come out swinging vis-a-vis the media. At least Sarah chose to use her position for good by starting Mistresses Anonymous, clearly an honorable thing to do. She has also become the go-to bloviator for every current infidelity plaguing our airwaves from Tiger Woods to Jesse James. While Sarah is out stumping for the Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullocks and Elizabeth Edwards of… Read More »

Hairstylist Roy Teeluck was prolific with the looks previewed at the Oscars Designer Challenge last week. Reese Witherspoon and Mila Kunis walked the Oscars Red Carpet wearing exact replicas of what Roy predicted would grace our favorite Hollywood stars. See what Roy created versus what style your favorite celebrities wore at the Academy Awards. Watch our how-to videos to achieve these looks at home.… Read More »

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Last year at the MTV MOVIE AWARDS, I was astonished at the sheer stupidity of the overall content. Last night, I was less astonished at the stupidity and more amazed at what little fashion walked the red carpet. And when I say little, I mean very little dresses coupled with very little taste. Yesterday afternoon, my freind Audrey Nizen (Creative Director, Bloomingdale’s) and I were lamenting on how stylists have ruined the creativity at awards shows by playing it all too safe. Last night however, there was safety in numbers, and all of which hit the recurring theme of Hootchie… Read More »

I MEAN…WHAT?!? presents Apples and Oranges, a new feature by Merle Ginsberg (Editor-in-Cheif, fashionrules.com) and Abe Gurko. This new column is a dialogue between two veteran style mavens as we trash…I mean…comment on The Best and Worst Dressed of the MTV AWARDS. Why Apples and Oranges? Well, Merle is based in Los Angeles and I am in New York…hence the fruity reference. Though Merle is currently in Tel Aviv on assignment, we still can call it Apples and Oranges because Israel has those kick-ass Jaffa oranges. The plan was to do the 5 Best and 5 Worst Dressed girls on… Read More »

Look, even hats get to be famous these days. This floppy, ribbon hat is flying off the shelves after Sandra Bullock was snapped wearing it. – E.T. Skanks Incorporated is about to have their first Board meeting. Michelle McGee, Hailey Glassman and Gina Lynn will be together doing some skanky nonsense. – PAGE 6 The Church is comparing the Pope’s situation to the persecution of the Jews during WWII. Shown here, Marlene Lugosi Pope Benedict (Arnold) loves this hat because it covers her his ears. – NY TIMES Though she was 2 1/2 hours late for her recent concert in… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »

Here’s a situation that has me riveted…in a guilty pleasure kind of way…kind of like watching…The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Where you really can’t believe that you got whooped up into wasting two hours of your precious time on earth watching this stupid show, yet, totally hoping that anyone but Vienna wins…and horrified when she did. Hence, you lost all respect for Jake. In that same way, I am wondering what Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren will do about their cheating husbands? Will they or won’t they forgive them…or will they just leave? Who hasn’t made their minds… Read More »

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »