“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Sarah Palin‘s favorite Beatles song has to be Happiness Is A Warm Gun. This woman is so at home slaughtering animals, imagine how war mongery she would become if given the chance to be President of the United States. She would immediately be all guns blazing in Yemen. Yes, that place is a hot bed for terrorist, and who knows how to deal with those zealots. But surely, two zealots do not make a right. Or is it, two zelots from the right are all wrong? Sarah Palin is a Kim Jong-Il-type waiting to happen. An egomaniac coupled with Tea… Read More »

Taxes schmaxes. The silliest part of this whole tax drama is how obsessed the Republican and Tea Parties are with how much better off we will be if the very rich get a tax break. Well, naturally the Tea Baggers are all for tax cuts for the rich, because they are so clueless, they think somehow the money will be trickled back to them so then they can finally buy teeth. As as for the Republican’s, well we know that those guys will do anything to oil their fund-raising machine, especially now that the doubly annoying Michael Steele is in… Read More »

Lord knows Berlin might have benefited from a sanity rally somewhere between Sally Bowles and the Storm Troopers in the mid 1930’s. It is with a heavy heart that I mention Nazi Germany because I am a first generation American from parents who survived the concentration camps. With all the haters comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler, I can’t stop thinking about the tone of this election cycle and the violent, reactionary, Tea Party headbangers. Is there a difference between Tim Profitt, the Rand Paul volunteer caught on camera stepping on a woman’s head, than any Nazi who was responsible… Read More »

Remember when Alec Baldwin allegedly threatened to leave the United States if George Bush Jr. got elected in 2000? I believe Barbra Streisand said something similar. Clearly they never left but that’s not why I am bringing this up. Rather, I am dumb struck watching and listening to the horrendous crop of candidates running for Senate and Congress. The reality that our country might be taking the kind of turn to the right…and I mean far right….I mean so far right that I can not breathe…is making me rethink living here. I lived in Los Angeles during 9-11 and it… Read More »

Would somebody please take a sock and shove it into Christine O’Donnell‘s mouth. And while your at it, take the other matching sock and stuff it into Sarah Palin‘s for good measure. Needless to say, we could use a few more pairs of socks to stuff in the mouths of the other Tea Baggers like Sharon Angle and Carl Paladino. What on Earth is this election cycle turning into? What the Tea Party has done here is prove just how stupid so many Americans really are. Stupid along the lines of the Jews in the desert being led my Moses,… Read More »

Poor Newsweek. It used to be so important. There were years when getting on the cover of Time and Newsweek were the be-all-and-end-all. But no more. Time now diffused that by putting a bunch of people on their recent 100 Most Powerful Issue and Newsweek, well we all know how that is bleeding at the seems, so who cares about being on that rag. Proof positive, the next issue features Sarah Palin (OK, so I tried to not discuss Sarah…but…) on the cover, showing how desperate they are to hold onto some kind of readership. Even if it is a… Read More »

I have heard just about enough from the Tea Party, the Tea Baggers, the morons, whatever you want to call them. What country do we live in and worse, what year is this?  When I think back to when the United States was truly, beautifully motivated for change, back in the late 1960’s, when our message was Women’s Rights, Black Power, Student’s Rights, Stop The War, Peace Now, Flower Power, Peace, Love and Woodstock, it makes me sad at the rhetoric we hear now from crowds. Many of these Tea Baggers can barely string together a coherent sentence and worse,… Read More »

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

Let’s face it kids, when I ask: ABE: Who wears a matching red hat with red Prada shoes and elaborate dresses? YOU: Dame Edna? ABE: No. YOU: Any of the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race? ABE: No. Give up? Here’s a hint. He turns a blind eye to child molesters and is the top dog of the Catholic church. YOU: Justin Bieber? ABE: No, you maroon. It’s the Pope, the Holy Pontiff, His Grace in the Glass Menagerie. Nice reputation, Marlene Pope Benedict XVI. I mean…really…would you let this guy, if he was not the Pope, anywhere near your kids?… Read More »

Let it be said that I Mean…What?!? called the Sarah Palin reality television show on June 12, 2009. So it was written, and so it shall be done. Today the Huffington Post reports that Sarah Palin and Mark Burnett are in cahoots with each other to bring you more endless nonsense from Wasilla. Here’s my next prediction, Mark Burnett becomes the leading campaign adviser for Sarah. This reality show will be the vehicle to slam her into the White House in 2016. Well, surely not 2012. I don’t care how many Tea Parties she hosts. And if I am right…which… Read More »