Jennifer Aniston: Next Steps
The papers are trashing Jennifer Aniston for her newest bomb The Switch, which you could have seen coming a mile away by the premise alone. Who walks around with the sperm intended for the hoo-ha. Your biological time clock is ticking…what’s with the celebration before the fact? Hurry up girl…shove it in. Here’s how the [...]
Eau de Bruce Willis?!?
Here we go again….yet, another celebrity-turned-stink. This time, Bruce Willis is the man of the hour. Yup, because I know how much you have wanted to smell like Bruce Willis since his Moonlighting days. I personally wanted to smell like him when he was in Death Becomes Her, with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn. Speaking [...]
Sarah Palin’s Assets
The news of Sarah Palin’s seemingly larger breasts almost overtook the BP Oil Spill as the most talked about item of the week. Once again, it shows how deep the American conscience runs. Dead birds…awww…can’t deal. Big, shiny new breasts…let’s discuss and re-Tweet. We must stop trying to act like the leaders of the free [...]
Smell Like A Movie Star…Stink Like A Bee
Not too long ago, I reported on the new fragrance, Lolavie by Jennifer Aniston, The Sweet Smell of Celebrity. Though she surely is not the first, and clearly not the last movie star to multi-task while branding, this disturbing trend has taken another bow with a celebrity men’s fragrance, called The Secret by Antonio Banderas. [...]
The Sweet Smell of Celebrity
You know you have hit the big top when a fragrance bears your name, or your pet’s name, or your favorite childhood memory’s name of some such nonsense. You all know my aversion to celebrity fashion designers. Now I am officially adding celebrity schtoonk-meisters to the list of things that make me say fotz or [...]
Snooki Finally Lands A Man
After that final episode of Jersey Shore, watching Snooki dance alone on the boardwalk, having been rejected by that “white guy”, then snooking up to The Situation in the hot tub and totally losing all self-respect, who wouldn’t want to see the Snooks get her day in the sun with a man that is all [...]
Fresh Cheeks ‘R’ Us
Not too long ago I did a piece Fresh Cheeks on cheeks. No, not the cheeks on your butt, there’s always Levi Johnston’s spread in Playgirl for that. I’m much more obsessed with the ones on your face…especially after they have been enhanced. As Christmas is upon us, I wanted to see who’s been naughty [...]
The I Mean…What?!? Clinking Clanking Clattering Collection Of Collagenous Junk News
What is The I Mean…What?! Clinking Clanking Clattering Collection Of Collagenous Junk News, you ask? What else, a recap of this week’s “not really” news as told through images. You can also call it, the Hodge Podge Lodge News and for the sake of levity and brevity, the “This Is News News?” So, without any [...]
Jennifer Aniston, Usher, Ruth Madoff
What do these three have in common you ask? Well, not much, besides the fact that they are in this weekend’s news. And when I say in the news, I say that with maximum sarcasm. Jennifer Aniston was honored by some Women in Film Crystal Award or some such nonsense, because her films are so [...]
