“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

That this skank Joslyn James was boo-hooing on Madam Gloria Allred’s shoulder one day before Tiger Woods returned to the green and then today is resuming her hooker/porn actress career is beyond. -NY POST The judges on Dancing with the Stars wanna boot Kate Gosselin off because they saw this photo. -LIFELINE LIVE I can’t believe that Oprah is giving Rielle Hunter the stage. UGH! -Huffington Post Whitney Houston has to cancel the first date of her European tour. Oy?!? -BBC NEWS Pharoh showed his collection at Pakistan Fashion Week. -Huffington Post Are you on Twitter? Click here to follow… Read More »

(Click on image for full story) You gotta love Chelsea Handler for saying what I have been saying forever about wanting Kate Gosselin’s Fifteen Minutes of Fame to end. – NY Daily News The iPad obsession is boring. I will definitely get one…when they get over themselves. It’s not a cancer treatment…its landfill. Relax. At least David Letterman get’s the joke. Russian Fashion Week features the pride of Borat. Say hello to the cast of “Jerseylicious.” New Jersey is about to have a hey dey…as in “Hey, you tsawkin’ tsoo me?” Oy, Lindsay, get your roots done. Are you on… Read More »

NEWS UPDATE FROM TWITTER: The World’s Most Reliable Source. Anyone who reads I Mean..What?!? knows that I have been a supporter of Lindsay Lohan since we first met two years ago. But now that I just read in the New York Daily News that she is panning to develop a line of handbags for Ed Hardy, well…that is where I draw a line in the sand. I have been drawing a lot of those lately (scroll down to read about yesterday’s line). But this is a moment of sadness, rather than anger. Most of my readers sent me angry emails… Read More »

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »

So, not that I give a flying cahoot, but ABC-TV is beginning to release the names to the media of the people cast for the upcoming edition of Dancing With The Stars, a.k.a. How On God’s Green Earth Is This Show A Hit? Yesterday, Perez Hilton announced that Pamela Anderson will be one of the people desperately holding on to dear life for their careers. Though Kelly Osbourne, who I adore, walked away from this show with flying colors and a fierce body, many have gone onto seeming ridiculous…or insane. My source told me that Pussycat Doll extraordinaire, Nicole Scherzinger… Read More »

This is a good day for Loredana Jolie, who I crowned Gross Baboon of the Year in regards to her loose lips (get your mind out of the gutter) during the Tiger Woods fiasco. Today I am stripping Loredana of her title and giving it to Hailey Grossman, of Jon Gosselin and drunk-in-a-plant fame. Just to refresh your memories, I crowned Loredana with the title Gross Baboon of the Year when she was flapping her gums about the book she was going to write about the Tiger Woods tryst, and alluding to Tiger’s homosexual activities. Loredana, dear…just because you were… Read More »

As New York Fashion Week looms and celebrities are being schnorred up for front row, the topic of the Jersey Shore cast was bound to come up. The New York Post‘s Page Six reports today that the cast is demanding tickets to shows. The only viable candidate for my money is Jenni Farley (JWoww), but only if she would agree to a complete IMW Makeover. As much of a fan that I am, these kids are way too Jon Gosselin for anyone in the fashion industry, besides Ed Hardy, that is. Shedding their image would be the only way to… Read More »

Ah, the allure of fame. Fortune tends to follow suit…unless you are Nick Lachey or Jon Gosselin. But, those are the exceptions to the rule. Back to fame. “Celebrity is obscurity waiting to happen,” says Carrie Fisher. And true dat. So who makes the list this week? Could it be anyone from the cast of Ugly Betty? That would be a yes. There is also Lordana Jolie, winner, Gross Baboon of the Year. Or perhaps it is Mel B…AGAIN…since I put her on the original Last Five Minutes of Fame List when I launched this category…fyi.… Read More »

It really is a shame that dogs have gotten a bad rap because of the basic human need to name-call. What is more amazing than your dog? Nothing. The expression, “It’s a dog’s life” refers to the easy, pressure-free existence that our pampered dogs live. Laying, stretching, nibbling, laying, stretching, nibbling. They are plenty busy. But then, somewhere along the line, people started referring to other humans as dogs and not in a good way. How did that happen? If I was a dog, a real one, I would be pissed. Women call men dogs for looking at other women,… Read More »

Here’s proof that all you need is some dough in order to get a star of the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What’s next? Grauman’s Chinese Theater letting Kim Kardashian plant her tootsies in their precious cement? Call me old fashioned, but when I think of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I think of Greta Garbo, Jean Harlow, Clark Gable and Fred Astaire…to name a few. Not Howie Mandel, or P Diddy, or does it say Sean Combs…whatever, Buzz Aldrin (really? why, cause he lives in LA?), or Ryan Seacrest. Can we call that a stretch…please? It all proves my point… Read More »