“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Has the rose fallen off the bloom? These new episodes of Jersey Shore Meets Miami better be hilare. – NY DAILY NEWS Michael Lohan needs to get out of the public eye and skank off into the sunset and away from Lindsay and Ali. Meanwhile where is Orange Oprah in all of this? – US MAGAZINE Just had to share this photo that my assistant Ryan has posted on his Facebook wall of…yes…that is Britney Spears. – FACEBOOK Thank you Cathy Horyn from The New York Times, On The Runway, for sharing this gem. – YOU TUBE In other Lindsay… Read More »

According to Lindsay Lohan’s tweet, Sam Ronson spit in her face at Coachella. R U kidding? Move on girls. Enough. Yikes. – TWITTER The Mario Testino/Kate Moss book will sell out for sure at $472 or whatever price. – HUFFINGTON POST httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2sYfsFv_i0&feature=player_embedded Kate Gosselin (March of the Wooden Soldiers) was finally booted off DWTS. Next up…more reality television. My friend at Warner Brothers said she is impossible. – JUST JARED Oh, no, Heather Locklear was just arrested for a hit and run. I am sooo upset. I love her. And am so sad that Melrose Place is canceled. – TMZ… Read More »

Met Crystal Bowersox yesterday who is so beyond lovely…I can’t stand it. Rumors that she wanted to quit AI abound…but my money and heart is on her. – TMZ Lindsay Lohan’s next gig playing Linda Lovelace? That would be so major…it’s beyond. – NY POST These schizophrenics (who I am sure are lovely people) are the lead story in The New York Times Style Section. How schizophrenic is that? – NY TIMES Style.com says skinny jeans are out and big flare bottoms are in. Agree or disagree? – STYLE.COM Brooke Muller has loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly…Hills… Read More »

Jersey Shore Season 2 is filming at the Jersey Shore after all. Yeah, they started in Miami. But any money bet this thing is scripted now, and Snooki says, while fist bumping, “Fuck Miami, let’s go back to the Jersey shore where they get us.” – MTV Stop what you are doing and watch this…period. -YOU TUBE Frankly, I like these two. Seems like I am alone. Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton were partying hearty at the Nylon magazine’s 11 anniversary party other night. – NY DAILY NEWS Do you recognize this Gross Baboon, or skank…which ever you prefer? She… Read More »

The only thing sadder than Shania Twain’s new reality show is the fact that my assistant Ryan is going to spend the summer watching it. -PEOPLE Lindsay Lohan’s fall collection for 6126 is here…fotz. Major, major fotz. -INSTYLE Terry Richardson wants to shoot your penii. -THE CUT You ain’t seen nothing yet, in terms of Kate Gosselin and reality television. She’ll be dancing into your living room on yet, another show about her and her shoes…or something.  -USA TODAY Cissy Houston says her daughter Whitney Houston is fine, now buzz off. -DIGITAL SPY Are you on Twitter? Click here to… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan may have been paid $1.5 million for that Ungaro mess…and trashed a room at The Bowery Hotel along the way. – THE CUT Madge is back in Malawi! -Yahoo! News How insane can you be? Ivanka Trump’s stalker thinks he still has a chance with her…yikes. -Popeater Jason Lee’s ex-wife reveals some dish about Scientology…and has an amazing story about crazy Jenna Elfman. -Radar Look out skanks…he’s back and loking for love. -PAGE SIX… Read More »

(Click on image for full story) You gotta love Chelsea Handler for saying what I have been saying forever about wanting Kate Gosselin’s Fifteen Minutes of Fame to end. – NY Daily News The iPad obsession is boring. I will definitely get one…when they get over themselves. It’s not a cancer treatment…its landfill. Relax. At least David Letterman get’s the joke. Russian Fashion Week features the pride of Borat. Say hello to the cast of “Jerseylicious.” New Jersey is about to have a hey dey…as in “Hey, you tsawkin’ tsoo me?” Oy, Lindsay, get your roots done. Are you on… Read More »

TMZ is reporting a sort of Chicken Little prophecy regarding the future of Lindsay Lohan. Her friends are very concerned that Linday’s partying is spiraling out of control and fear for her life. Well, whatever the case, I do hope that is not the case. Then again…who wouldn’t fall flat on their face in those ridiculous heels? Girl…Tory Burch flats for you.… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »

Wait…did I read that correctly? Tom Ford is what? Do you mean to tell me that an actual fashion designer is developing a collection for women? How is that possible? These days all we hear about are celebrities slithering their way into the fashion industry. Sarah Jessica Parker, Madonna, the Olsen Twins, Kim Kardashian, to name a few but the list is endless. Women’s Wear Daily reports this morning that Tom Ford, is in fact in talks with Givenchy designer, Pablo Coppola and a few other notables such as an accessory designer from Alexander McQueen to assemble a ferocious design… Read More »