“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Sheldon Adelson Shlameel, Shlamazel, Hasenfeffer Incorporated… Read More »

I have been commenting on Amanda Bynes and her desperate attempt to not be an chubby faced non getting work actress for years and now everyone has caught up to snuff. And when I say snuff, I predict that she may soon appear in a snuff film.… Read More »

Comes word of a new endorsement deal from Kris Jenner, who has clearly given up on her daughter’s ability to make some dough-ray-mee by signing on to be the spokes-model for a labia cream, Zestra that enhances old lady orgasms. Are you breching (vomit in Yiddish) yet? You sure should be. If not, I am for you. Imagine Grandma Jenner, and no, I do not mean Kris, I mean Bruce, giving all sorts of titillating pleasure to Kris Jenner in their Kalabasas Kompound. The question really is, as true reality television whores, will Kris and Bruce let the cameras roll… Read More »

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So apparently there is a 77 minutes sex tape featuring The Real Housewife of New Jersey, Danielle Staub. Now, having met her, she is really very nice and funny-ish. Perhpas she takes herself a bit too seriously…but I digress. The thought of watching this long-in-the-tooth mommy have prunetang…well…brech central. – TMZ… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »

Am I that old where I can no longer appreciate teenyboppers? Am I that cranky and jaded that there’s no summoning up the adulation for a Twinkie that sings? Am I alone here? When I was young, yes, 4,000 years ago, we also had heartthrobs that swept the nation. We might have started that phenomenon actually. Well, Elvis did and that was before my time. But Elvis changed music as did The Beatles. They changed everything beyond music, too, like personal style and while they were at it, the entire culture. One can surely understand screaming for them. But I… Read More »

This is a good day for Loredana Jolie, who I crowned Gross Baboon of the Year in regards to her loose lips (get your mind out of the gutter) during the Tiger Woods fiasco. Today I am stripping Loredana of her title and giving it to Hailey Grossman, of Jon Gosselin and drunk-in-a-plant fame. Just to refresh your memories, I crowned Loredana with the title Gross Baboon of the Year when she was flapping her gums about the book she was going to write about the Tiger Woods tryst, and alluding to Tiger’s homosexual activities. Loredana, dear…just because you were… Read More »

Far be it from me to not appreciate a good marketing opportunity, but a blatantly gross one is surely worth mentioning, if not brech-ing from. Last night at the American Music Awards, a.k.a. the sell-out awards of the century, Coca-Cola hosted some kind of area that celebs went to in order for Coca-Cola to shnorr up a few photo ops. Naturally, since Pepsi has so effectively aligned themselves with the music industry over the past couple of decades (Michael Jackson, Britney, Mariah, etc.) Coke needed to think fast on garnering some of that limelight, without actually pushing what the music… Read More »

The above statement definitely makes me sound clueless, and perhaps I am. Though many of you have commented on my honesty and astute observations about the media, fashion, celebrity and politics, I still find myself scratching my head whenever I read the headlines. Today is no exception. Whether it’s from The New York Times, The Huffington Post or People.com, the headlines are chock full of information that gives me pause…to say the least. Here’s a few of today’s ditties.… Read More »