“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

With the passing of Elizabeth Taylor, there is a hole in the celebrity fragrance market that Justin Bieber can fill with the launch of his new product line, Justin Bieber Scented Dog Tags. Move over Jennifer Aniston with your Lolavie nonsense because The Biebs is here with a fresh take on how to smell. The celebrity fragrance and celebrity designer industry is alive and kicking and Justin’s dog tags are the best of both worlds. It is a fragrance that will spice up your wardrobe, while spicing up the way you smell. It is borderline brilliant in a kitsch kind… Read More »

No kidding. What were these two doing together anyway? I know, I know, there’s a cover for every pot. And she is a cover. And he is a pot. But for gosh sakes. They seemed as suited together as she did with Garth Brooks or whatever that country singer’s name was that she was married to for five minutes. I wish her well, but think she and Jennifer Aniston are the two peas in a pod who should end up together.… Read More »

All I can say is that the new Vogue Paris cover featuring model, Giselle Bundchen, is the best news. They tend to anyway, but with Emmanuelle Alt at the helm of the pub since the abrupt resignation from Carine Roitfeld, I am glad that some things don’t change. The worst part of most American fashion magazine are their covers. Excuse me, Jennifer Hudson is a lovely girl and Jennifer Aniston is best served on the small screen, but please, leave most Jennifers off the covers of Vogue and that includes Jennifer Garner, who I think is stunning. What can I… Read More »

Clearly I am not a Jennifer Aniston fan. Not since last century when Friends was one of my favorite shows and I pined for “The Rachel” hairdo. I still do, but that is because I have no hair so I’ll take anything. No, after observing Jennifer in certain situations (lush) when I lived in Los Angeles, it took the wind of out the sail of loving Jennifer Aniston. Besides, the show was canceled by then and she changed up her hair. When she married Brad Pitt, I wondered if this was a Hollywood gay cover-up because they had the same… Read More »

NEW ALERT: SAMMI “SWEETHEART” JUST LAUNCHED A JEWELRY LINE. You know that I was not letting this ditty go by unnoticed. Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, yes, the bitchy one from MTV’s Jersey Shore, is actually launching a fragrance. Dangerous will be out in stores in time for those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer at the Jersey Shore. I have a hard enough time trying to figure out what kind of girl wants to smell like a cat, with Katy Perry’s Purr or Kate Walsh’s (ex)Boyfriend. Oh, and let’s not forget Jennifer Aniston’s Lolavie, whatever the hell that means, that she… Read More »

Clearly that well documented photo shoot between Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian for Elle magazine had a lasting impression on the impressionable Justin Bieber. His camp has announced the creation of Eau De Toilette Justin Bieber. Toilette being the operative word. Well, if you think about it, a fragrance for lesbians marketed to tweens is borderline genius. Anyone who is anyone knows about my ongoing issue with celebrity fragrances and why it irks me to no end. The fact remains that the egos of these entertainers has gotten so out of control, that it cheapens their act altogether. Not that… Read More »

Bob Morris wrote a witty piece in the New York Observer today that I wanted to comment on. I adore Bob’s writing. Always have. His article covers the uncovering of people these days. Whether it is short shorts at dinner parties, the Lady Gaga bee-keeper outfit that she wore to her sisters graduation or the current Marc Jacobs spread…literally…for his new cologne Bang, everyone is taking it off and showing their hooch. This phenomenon of people taking off their clothes seems to have taken a big turn when Demi Moore made it OK to be nine months pregnant and nude… Read More »

The papers are trashing Jennifer Aniston for her newest bomb The Switch, which you could have seen coming a mile away by the premise alone. Who walks around with the sperm intended for the hoo-ha. Your biological time clock is ticking…what’s with the celebration before the fact? Hurry up girl…shove it in. Here’s how the casting of this role went down. INT. CAA OFFICES – DAY CAA AGENT: Here, Jen, do this movie, it’s called The Switch. JENNIFER: Who is the director? CAA AGENT: (Thinking to himself) Who does she think she is…Bette Davis? JENNIFER: Is it yet another comedy?… Read More »

Here we go again….yet, another celebrity-turned-stink. This time, Bruce Willis is the man of the hour. Yup, because I know how much you have wanted to smell like Bruce Willis since his Moonlighting days. I personally wanted to smell like him when he was in Death Becomes Her, with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn. Speaking of which, these gals would NEVER sign on to become a fragrance. Back to Bruce. The Bruce Willis Collection includes an eau de parfum, hair and body wash, deodorant spray and after shave balm. HAIR?!? Have they seen him in the past 20 years? This… Read More »

The news of Sarah Palin‘s seemingly larger breasts almost overtook the BP Oil Spill as the most talked about item of the week. Once again, it shows how deep the American conscience runs. Dead birds…awww…can’t deal. Big, shiny new breasts…let’s discuss and re-Tweet. We must stop trying to act like the leaders of the free world when all we can think about are tits and ass. Our obsession with body parts has tainted our ability to see the forest from the trees. Or the war and the peace, frankly. To my point: Every men’s magazine has actresses in skanky positions,… Read More »