“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Animal prints are the new fatigues. There’s a war on. Several actually. But as of yesterday, the newest, scariest war kicked into high gear with a statement from the White House that sent shivers down my spine.  In an interview with iVillage, Michelle Obama rambled this quote when asked what television shows Sasha and Malia watch. “Barack really thinks some of the Kardashian – when they watch that stuff – he doesn’t like that as much,” she said, “but I sort of feel like if we’re talking about it, and I’m more concerned with how they take it in –… Read More »

The gloves are off and the cat fight begins between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, the Doublemint Twins of the Tea Party. Neither zealot has officially entered the race yet, but they are already taking jabs at each other through their hired mouth pieces. What is more brilliant than that? Brilliant because as I predicted months ago, there will be no harmony with this duet. It is similar to the similarities of Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. It is hard to tell them apart, too. In March, when the Charlie Sheen meltdown was monopolizing the airwaves, I wrote: The… Read More »

The past few days while Charlie Sheen has been monopolizing the airwaves, the happy homemakers, Sarah (Cross-Hair) Palin and Michele (Cross-Eyed) Bachmann have been doing their darndest to get some face time on the boob tube. Naturally, Fox News to the rescue, where Ms. Blabbermouth #1 has been spewing venomous insults about the Obama Administration, while her potential Presidential rival Ms. Blabbermouth #2 was doing the same. The slanderous comments such as “Gangster Government” is so racially motivated, that it makes John Galliano look like Mother Teresa. Now, these two bimbettes have synced up their talking points to the point… Read More »

What ever happened to the age of innocence when we feared a George Orwellian future? When George W. Bush Jr. was in power, his Big Brotherness proved Orwell’s predictions had come true. Now, just a couple years later, we have something far greater to fear than George Bush, which is a Sarah Palin White House based on the film The Truman Show. You think that’s not possible? With Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin the new stars of reality television, you don’t think that sick bitch would not want to chronicle her years in the White House for ego sake alone?… Read More »

No, I will not be watching Sarah Palin’s Alaska, a.k.a The Real Housfrau of Wasilla tonight. Will you? Let’s face it, those who tune into watch that down-market, animal killer will surely be enthralled with her phony “Gotcha (wink) Crap” . In a decidedly calculated move to engage the lowest common denominator of television viewers, Sarah Palin is doing a reality show while her promiscuous daughter Bristol Palin continues (not sure how) to flash her tits on Dancing With The Stars. This is all part of the diabolical plot to have the clueless American public fall madly in love with… Read More »

UPDATE FROM YESTERDAY’S UPDATE: Triple Oy! President Obama is (kind of) back peddling from his statement in support of the mosque at Ground Zero. I have a feeling that the mosque will not end up at that location after all. This has turned into a national obsession, has opened Padora’s Box of Racism, and has shed the light on how gross we really are as a nation when our pockets are not full. And of course, Gross Baboon extraordinaire, Sarah Palin is all over this like white on rice. She took to Twittering and Facebooking that statement, “We all know… Read More »

Let it be said that I Mean…What?!? called the Sarah Palin reality television show on June 12, 2009. So it was written, and so it shall be done. Today the Huffington Post reports that Sarah Palin and Mark Burnett are in cahoots with each other to bring you more endless nonsense from Wasilla. Here’s my next prediction, Mark Burnett becomes the leading campaign adviser for Sarah. This reality show will be the vehicle to slam her into the White House in 2016. Well, surely not 2012. I don’t care how many Tea Parties she hosts. And if I am right…which… Read More »

I don’t have much to say about last night’s State Dinner besides that it is part of the White House protocol and that it must be maintained. Is it annoying? Perhaps to those who are not invited. Does it do anything for us politically? Maybe but probably not.  Are rituals and institutions a good thing? One could argue this in either direction. The fact remains, we have them, and with this new White House, the affair needed to be amazing. Why? Because. And if you don’t like that answer? Too bad. Michelle Obama looked fantastic, the space was elegant, and… Read More »