“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

What on Earth is everybody buggin’ out about Madonna’s performance? My phone started buzzing immediately with all these haters ripping Madge a new orifice and I don’t know what these people are thinking. My sister said, “She’s 53, put on a pair of flats and dance. What was that?” First of all that was Madonna giving high-fashion glamazon and doing what she does best… holding court. Here are the facts: Madonna came out as Cleopatra being pulled by a bunch of gayish, football playery looking gladiators. Amazing. Madonna wore Givenchy Couture. Beyond. Madge opened with Vogue. Obsessed knowing that thousands of straight… Read More »

Ever since Madonna jumped into the schmatta business, it has been a head-scratcher. Why the lame move from musical icon to tween celebrity-turned-fashion-designer extraordinaire? Sure, she’s made some cute moves like hiring Taylor Momsen, the Gossip Girl cast-off as the original face of the label, Material Girl. But overall, Madonna & Schmatta was just an odd lot job lot. The news that LA Triumph, a garmento company in California, is suing Madonna, claiming the rights to the name Material Girl is really annoying. Sure, the tween Macy’s fest is somewhat beneath my Material Girl but Madonna is and will always… Read More »

Madonna is rumored to be in talks to play Norma Desmond in the film version of the Broadway musical Sunset Boulevard by Andrew Lloyd Weber. That would make me very happy. But a few things would have to happen. Madonna would have to surrender to the director. She would have to allow herself to look and act somewhat demented. Not like a caricature of Norma Desmond, but a real broken, lonely, lost icon. I thought Madonna was fantastic as Eva Peron, and surely, if all the stars align for Sunset Boulevard, this will be the seminal moment of Madonna’s career.… Read More »

Having worked in fundraising for wonderful charities, it is with a heavy heart  to learn about the horrendous scam circling Madonna‘s now ill-conceived school for girls in Malawi. I say ill-conceived because if this project was properly structured, with vigorous oversight, then 3.8 million dollars would not have vanished. Who is to blame? Surely the Executive Director, Philippe van den Bossche, who became involved with Madonna’s trainer, Tracy Anderson, in the middle of the project. Now it makes sense why Madonna fired her “celebrity trainer ass“. Now, someone tell me how a 15 million dollar project allows for a 3.8… Read More »

The news that Lindsay Lohan dropped her last name to go by her first name only, is a move that I thoroughly support. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Abe, and I, too, go by my first name only. My business card says Abe and my company’s name is Abe. In fact, I don’t think anyone knows my last name. I sure don’t. It’s sort of like Just Jack, in that I am a gay man, but unlike Just Jack, I am a real person, which makes me more like Cher and Madonna. Since childhood, I have gone… Read More »

Let’s face it….if you were Madonna, you too would date a young dancer type. The papers are agog with rumors that Madonna was seen out and about with a younger man…not Jesus Luz…at a Meatpacking District hot spot SL dancing the night away with a hottie named Brahim Rachiki. The fact is, this Brahim was the choreographer from her recent Sticky and Sweet tour. But here’s the interesting bit. She apparently is not dating Rachiki, but another dancer named Brahim. Really? There is another dancer named Brahim? How random is that? Look, if they are young and hot and fit…why… Read More »

You have gotta love Madonna. Of course for her unending musical contributions and icon status. I love that she takes a subway like Mayor Bloomberg, that she is a mother first and a designer second—and somehow managed to turn that situation into a 20 million dollar deal for her and Lourdes. She is a shrewd cookie and a cougar on a mission—and I love her. Oh to have been a fly on the wall at that Macy’s personal appearance yesterday. I am sure she was just thrilled to have to placate 350 screaming kids, all of whom had to purchase… Read More »

Lola Ciccone has hit her own zeitgeist. She now has a clothing line, a blog, and is a self-proclaimed style maven. The question is: Will Lola revamp the Material Girl look that her Momma made famous umpteen millions years ago? Is that look relevant now? Hey, I thoroughly support and admire anyone who wants to take the world, head on. When I was Lola’s age, all I could think about was smoking pot and laying in the middle of my school football field, watching the stars come out at night, amazed. And I thought that was being major productive. Well,… Read More »

Here is Lady Gaga’s new video for Alejandro. People are kvetching that it is a Madonna rip-off. What do you think? Watch below. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niqrrmev4mA&feature=player_embedded… Read More »

Oh Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. Madge, Madge, Madge. You are making me all fatootzed (confused in Yiddish). I am soooo not feeling the Material Girl–brought to you by Macy’s–thing at all. I know, through Kabbalah, you are like officially Jewish now. But that does not mean you have to automatically go into the schmatta business. And does Lourdes need to have a career at thirteen years of age? What’s wrong with a Bat-Mitzvah at Leonard’s of Great Neck and some dance classes? I know, you are a great mother. But I am not so sure that you are a real Jewish… Read More »