“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

The news of Sarah Palin‘s seemingly larger breasts almost overtook the BP Oil Spill as the most talked about item of the week. Once again, it shows how deep the American conscience runs. Dead birds…awww…can’t deal. Big, shiny new breasts…let’s discuss and re-Tweet. We must stop trying to act like the leaders of the free world when all we can think about are tits and ass. Our obsession with body parts has tainted our ability to see the forest from the trees. Or the war and the peace, frankly. To my point:

1. Every men’s magazine has actresses in skanky positions, (if not nude, hello Jennifer Aniston).
2. Vanity Fair had bikini clad soccer players on their cover last month, and a vintage picture of Liz Taylor (yes looking stunning) in a swimsuit this month, but it is somewhere close to acceptable Maxim, really.
3. We spent more time on Heidi Montag‘s redux than on the financial crisis.
4. We pay greater attention to the details of Victoria’s Secret models than knowing who our Congressmen are.
5. We make celebrities out of participants of ill-gotten sex tapes (Paris Hilton and Danielle Staub, brech) and obsessive texters (Tiger Woods‘ entire posse of skanks).

I am not crazy…this is what we are all about. Heck, even our politicians and priests are preoccupied with body parts. We have to call a spade a spade and realize that we are lost little lambs looking to cling onto our mother’s breast and in this case they are Sarah Palin‘s. Whether she actually had breast augmentation is less the story than the fact that we made the possibility of her new breasts the big story of the week. If you are her supporter/follower, then get your mind out of the gutter and talk about her policies (?) and the Gulf. If you are from my camp and want her to fade into the sunset before 2012, then shut the hell up about her tits. (After this piece I will never  mention her again…ish.) In doing my research on Sarah Palin‘s breast, I pulled out this vintage Palin video and my take away is that has the same breasts as her days of modeling and pageantry. She may very well have just been photographed at the Belmont Stakes wearing a bra that does not hold her in. Most of the other images available of Sarah has her wearing cheap suits, so it is hard to tell. And (B) the fact that she would do something that stupid is mind boggling…even to me.  Hence, I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. So, let me know what you think once and for all and then we can drop this subject for fear of being ruled by The Vatican….those righteous hypocrites.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnT9W0ONycc